In this episode we’ll go through what it really feels like before you’re about to win.

I mean to show you you’re on the right track even when it feels like you’re not.

After another year of school and putting up with a bully, this is a good time for a pep talk.

A reframe. Changing the way you look at discouragement to motivate yourself.

You must cultivate your ability to reframe especially when it seems like you’re never going to get there. This ability is the key to success.

Remember winning is always possible as long as you keep going.

Winners focus on winning, and losers focus on winners.

Everyone loses but as long as you focus on winning, you’re a winner. And it’s lonely along the extra mile.

The way it feels on the extra mile—the place before you win—is what we’re here to discuss.

How it feels before you win:

It’s a blend of determination and discouragement, and as long as you’re more determined than discouraged, you’re about to win.

First we must dissect what makes us feel discouraged, so we know what to do from there to keep our determination.

Discouragement comes in various forms that boil down to: setbacks, overstimulation, impatience and criticism from naysayers who might even mean us well. I’m going to show you how to reframe them all.

A setback is a moment in time when you don’t meet your goals. It’s temporary and changeable going forward, but it can feel like the end of the road.

Reframe setbacks as one more step to ultimate success, little clues about which ways to avoid, little failures to learn from that make you stronger, proof that you’re human and at your learning edge.

Oversimulation causes highs and lows that end in burnout. It depletes your energy and makes time seem to stand still.

People can go overboard on thinking and analysis, forcing their desired outcomes, or trying to learn and improve quickly chasing that dopamine cycle. Overdoing it will backfire. Why? Because less is more. Over time the ups and downs teach your brain that only outstanding pleasure will satisfy you.

How to reframe: Tell your subconscious mind you can take it easy by actually pumping the breaks. Slow down, repeat one skill at a time until you’ve got it rather than trying to learn it all at once, take breaks from devices, teach yourself to appreciate simplicity.

Impatience comes from measuring too often and/or too soon.

You are trying so hard (or maybe you’re not at the moment), but what you want hasn’t worked out…YET!

I know you want to see results now. You want to beat the bully! I want you to too, and you eventually will.

To reframe your impatience: Keep focusing on where you’re going NOT where you are. Stop measuring and checking. If you notice something you’re doing is working, do more of it.

Naysayers knock the wind out of your sails even when they mean to help.

Reframe their doubts and fears as something separate and increasingly distant from you.

Find the fun in doing the things others can’t imagine for you. There’s nothing better than getting away with what used to seem impossible.

Notice any time you becoming a naysayer to your own plans and goals.

To recap, what winning feels like just before it happens is: doubt and fear, disappointment, small changes, impatience, overwhelm, highs and lows, temptation to force your desired outcome or give up, and loneliness as you walk the extra mile.

Reframe these feelings as you keep at it.

Sooner or later you will win.

Then you’ll win again and again and again.