We want to build families where every individual can flourish. But despite our best intentions, it's challenging to share the domestic load equitably within our parenting partnerships. Patriarchal, hetero-normative gender roles can deeply impact our lives without our consent.

As a gay man who always dreamed of becoming a dad, Steve Disselhorst had the opportunity, along with his husband, to re-imagine how a family structure could look. In this 3-part series, I ask Steve to share some of his experiences and perspectives. In this episode, Steve and I discuss:

• how Steve and his husband have approached the intense domestic workload that comes with raising kids
• how hetero-normative work cultures push families into traditional gender roles 
• how the caregiver penalty at work hurts dads
• what to do when the primary caretaker knows things that other parent doesn't 
• how our upbringings shape the roles we take in our parenting partnerships 
• how to make invisible labor visible 
• what to do when one partner has more domestic skills, but you want to share the load