Note from Philip: Matt and Gaby are both on assignment this week, so we proudly present an encore of one of our most popular episodes ever.

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We welcome our newest Patreon supporter, Martin from Frankfurt, Germany!

Inspired by the Paris Olympics which open today, we imagine Olympic events spread across the solar system in the year 3024! High jumps on the Moon, luge races on asteroids, and synchronized swimming in Titan's methane lakes. Athletes train in centrifuges to prepare for different gravities, while spectators watch solar sail races near the Sun. The episode explores the physics of sports in various planetary conditions, from the dense atmosphere of Jupiter to the microgravity of space stations. Learn about the challenges of organizing interplanetary competitions and the potential for new sports unique to each celestial body.

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Got an IF of your own? Want to have us consider your idea for a show topic? Send YOUR IF to us! Email us at [email protected] and let us know what's in your imagination. No idea is too small, or too big!

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Keep On IFFin',Philip, Matt & Gaby

In a world where no creature ever evolved wings, island ecosystems would be barren wastelands, Darwin might never have filled his bathtub with broccoli, and wars might be less explosive due to the absence of bird guano for making gunpowder. Explore an Earth where dragonflies never buzzed, butterflies never fluttered, and humans might have focused exclusively on land speed instead of aerospace. From the philosophical implications of never seeing flight in action to the surprisingly massive ecological importance of flying poop-dispersers, this episode dives into the cascading consequences of a planet permanently grounded.

This thought-provoking "what if" scenario was suggested by listener Steve Scalici.

Find out more about how to march in support of American science by visiting https://standupforscience2025.org

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Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story!

Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

We're sharing our bonus show this week that is usually available only to our Patreon supporters.

This week's Beyond the IF continues our sobering discussion about the rapidly deteriorating state of science funding in America. The conversation took us deeper into the real-world impacts we're already seeing - from major universities canceling all graduate admissions to a student who landed a Park Service job only to have it eliminated before she could even start. These aren't hypothetical scenarios anymore; they're happening to real people right now.

We also discussed the historical precedents for what happens when countries drive out their scientific talent. From Nazi Germany to the Soviet Union's collapse, the pattern is disturbingly familiar - and often ends with those experts enriching other nations instead. For those of you wondering what you can do, we shared information about the Stand Up for Science event on March 7th and other ways to make your voice heard.

Your support is more important than ever as we navigate these challenging times. If you're one of our Patreon members, we thank you for being part of this community and allowing us to have these critical conversations that many aren't willing to have. If you're not a member yet, go to https://patreon.com/whattheif to find out what it's all about.

Keep on iffin',

Philip, Gaby & Matt

The current US Administration's sudden gutting of science funding is creating an unprecedented crisis. Scientists are waking up to find themselves unemployed, as anonymous officials pull the plug on research programs with no warning or debate. This episode examines the immediate fallout as laboratory freezers shut down, irreplaceable samples are lost, and researchers scramble to preserve years of work.

What comes next could be devastating - a potential mass exodus of scientific talent. If funding isn't restored, we face an imminent brain drain as researchers seek opportunities elsewhere, mirroring historical parallels from Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union's collapse. Major universities have already canceled graduate admissions, threatening to eliminate an entire generation of future scientists. The consequences of these actions extend far beyond academia - agricultural failures, increased disease outbreaks, and environmental deterioration await a society that abandons its scientific foundations.

We finish with concrete ways you can take action, from contacting your representatives to joining organized protests like the upcoming Stand Up for Science event on March 7th. We also invite you to share your own ideas and strategies for stemming this tide - whether you're in the US or watching from abroad, your voice and solutions matter in this critical moment.

Picture a world where meteor showers aren't just annual events - they're a constant barrage of cosmic debris raining down from above. From sonic booms that make sleep impossible to the challenges of titanium umbrella manufacturing, explore how humanity might cope with endless celestial bombardment. Discover why the moon's pockmarked surface could become Earth's new normal, why your local cathedral might be built from meteorite fragments, and how our atmosphere would transform into a perpetual blanket of dust that could make plants nostalgic for sunlight.

Based on ideas sparked by Dr. Matthew Stanley's upcoming book on the history of asteroid impact awareness.

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Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story!

Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Imagine a world where garbage grows faster than we can handle it. From towering mountains of trash transforming Central Park into a burn pit, to fashionable gas masks becoming the next big trend, to super-sized Pizza Rats dragging entire pies down subway stairs - Matt touches on what happens when our waste production spirals out of control. Discover the fascinating science behind Norway's garbage-to-energy programs, learn why your building's trash chute might be too small for modern waste, and find out how launching garbage into space could create daily meteor showers. Whether we end up building higher and higher on top of our refuse or turning landfills into beautiful parks, one thing's certain: the future is trashy.

Here are links to the article that inspired today’s “If,” and also links to the work of photographer Jade Doskow, the official photographer of the Fresh Kills transformation project, turning the old landfill into a vast wooded parkland in New York City.

- NYTimes - "A Century of Human Detritus, Visualized" (Dennis Overbye) - The podcast encourages checking out a New York Times article titled "A Century of Human Detritus, Visualized," written by Dennis Overbye and published December 27, 2024. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/27/science/biomass-garbage-construction.html?unlocked_article_code=1.v04.UxBK.oaS6T2HeFINh&smid=url-share

- Jade Doskow’s Official Website - The hosts direct listeners to Jade Doskow’s official photography website, which showcases her work. https://jadedoskowphotography.com/

- Jade Doskow at Freshkills Park - The official Freshkills Park page about Jade’s role as Photographer-in-Residence. It features her ongoing project documenting the transformation of the former landfill into a park. https://freshkillspark.org/os-art/jadedoskow

- "Jade Doskow: Photographer of Lost Utopias" Documentary - A short documentary by filmmaker Philip Shane following Jade’s decade-long project photographing World’s Fair sites. https://www.philipshane.com/lost-utopias

- "Extra Terrestrial" on Urban Omnibus - An article written by Jade Doskow (Nov 2022) about the evolving landscape of Freshkills, recommended for further reading. It offers insight into her approach and findings as the site’s photographer-in-residence. https://urbanomnibus.net/2022/11/extra-terrestrial/

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Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story!

Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

What if humans only needed to poop twice a year? Listener Randy Woods sent in this fascinating question that explores everything from subway systems suddenly smelling fresher to plumbers planning career changes in a world where human waste becomes a rare event. Dive into the fascinating science of gut microbiomes, learn why having "zero waste" might wreak havoc on Earth's ecosystems, and discover why some scientists think the total elimination of poop could cause an evolutionary crisis. Through engineered gut bacteria or artificially created super-digestible food, this episode examines how our bodies would need to change to achieve this drastically different biological reality.

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Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story!

Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

What if humans could only move eight inches in 24 hours? After watching mushroom corals take a full day to scoot that far, we explore life at an even slower pace than sloths. Trade sprinting after prey for the exciting new sport of not moving at all! Develop a metabolism so slow you'll make a sloth look hyperactive, grow some stylish moss camouflage, and discover why traveling one foot becomes the adventure of a lifetime. Turns out the slow life comes with some surprising survival strategies - just don't expect to chase down your dinner anymore.

Based on "These Corals Are Made for Walking" by Jason Bittel, published in The New York Times on Jan. 22, 2025 (https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/22/science/walking-coral.html?smid=url-share).

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Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story!

Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Here's our Bonus show, "Beyond The IF" which we record each week for our Patreon supporters. We're sharing it here so you can get a taste of what it's like. If you're not a Patreon supporter, you can learn more about the benefits available to all our wonderful members at patreon.com/whattheif.

We continued the show by talking about the fascinating world of ants—their wars, their teamwork, and how they recognize each other using scent. These tiny creatures gave us plenty to think about. Gaby also shared a brief take on how misunderstandings of basic science, like pasteurization, can lead to unnecessary fear. Her thoughts on the need for tackling misinformation and protecting public health were insightful.

Thanks for listening, and keep on Iffin’.

What if we could harness the superior problem-solving abilities of ants? After scientists discovered that ants outperform humans at maneuvering objects through mazes (even when the humans can see but aren't allowed to talk or gesture), we imagine a world where humans learn to control these master cooperators. From ant armies forming living conveyor belts to deliver mail, to using chemical trails to guide them in cleaning houses, explore what happens when humans try to domesticate insects for manual labor. Just don't get too squeamish when you learn it takes 150 million ants to move your couch!

Based on "Ants best humans at test of collective intelligence" by Christie Wilcox, published in Science.org on December 30, 2024 (https://www.science.org/content/article/ants-best-humans-test-collective-intelligence).

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Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story!

Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention