“Babe,” he said calmly, “what are you doing? You have that look in your eyes.”

It took approximately 43 minutes to birth our child after spending time on YouTube and figuring out the best way to deliver a child that’s extremely fragile. I turned to my left side and hoisted my leg mid-air as though I had a medicine ball in between my thighs. I lightly pushed when there were contractions until I felt pressure. Afterwards, I didn’t push, but let my body do its thing.

The entire time I was in this chilly position, I changed my favorite mantra aloud and in my head. “The abyss may corrode our land, but not our iron will. In death, I shall be reborn!”

Each contraction felt horrible, but satisfying enough to know I was still alive. During the last wave of contractions, I felt like I was a tank from my favorite MOBA game (Belerick from Mobile Legends: Bang Bang!). No matter how hard this was for my husband and I to do this ourselves, I have to do this and thank our child for protecting me the way they did.

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