What ugly truth about yourself did marriage reveal? How did I overcome it? I sucked as a team player. I always thought about myself first. I was emotionally underdeveloped. Meaning I didn't know how to express what I was feeling. I would shut down and go silent. I had unresolved childhood trauma. Things that was traumatic growing up in the hood, I thought was normal. Unaddressed childhood trauma if not dealt with, will deal with you in adulthood. My love was conditional. If we fell out over something, couldn't resolve it, I would be cold and callus towards her. 

Being like that puts the other person in a nervous state, always walking on egg shells.  I was young and immature. I was 24 and she 31, with a 12 year old son. Looking back, it was too much for me to handle at that age.  How did I overcome it? Self awareness. My ex wife told me how she felt about my issues. Only while going through a divorce did I hear what she had to say. Books. While going through my divorce, some books gave me the courage to follow through with the divorce. Prayer and Therapy. Having a spiritual foundation kept me grounded and prevented me from things I would have regretted today. Therapy showed me where I needed to improve. At times uncomfortable but worth the growth. Forgiveness allowed me a clean heart and remarry.