In today's episode I speak about my confrontation with death energy and a kind of near death experience I had. While this moment was something like an annihilation, it was also the seeding of genuine self compassion and rebuild. Below are some of the resources I discuss in the episode - they are not recommendations, and none of what I say is clinical advice obviously. Reach out, talk to people, take care of yourself, and it will get better.

RESOURCES:

All Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

Lifeline - 24/7 Phone: 13 11 14

Beyond Blue - 24/7 Phone: 1300 22 4636

QLife - 1800 184 527 qlife.org.au

13YARN - 13 92 76 13yarn.org.au

Psychology: https://www.spathiswellbeing.com/individuals

QHHT Sydney: https://www.pastliferegression.net.au/

Family Constellations: https://www.discoveringinsight.com.au/family-constellations/

Nathan King's Euphoriam Program: https://www.euphoriam.com/

Damien Wynne: https://www.damien-wynne.com/

The themes of proving and performance have followed me around for yonks. After arriving in Brisbane it came time to confront them. Today I discuss my rather measly tenure as a battle dancer and how it became a doorway to stand up comedy, which more or less saved my life. Sorry chat gpt, I'm not calling it 'The Shape of Waiting'.

Watch gift horse, my beginner comedy special: youtube.com/watch?v=GW_ou_UgowE&feature=youtu.be

Incredible psychologist: https://www.spathiswellbeing.com/about

Stay up to date with the pod via Substack: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

I have perpetually wrangled with the meaning of my Cabbage Patch Doll, Bubby, who I was gifted when I was born. Over the years she held a lot for me, just like I did for my family. Today I navigate the corners of my mind and my odd family constellation, and consider possibilities around why I have obsessively searched for meaning in my life. This episode is a three bagger; yes sir, yes sir, it is three bags full on the 'emotionally heavy baggage' scale.

If you'd like to stay connected, sub to my substack, home of the pod, where I also write loose essays on art, myth and energetics: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

You can also check out my Youtube channel, Goodfellows Garden:https://www.youtube.com/@goodfellowsgarden

Today I venture into the uncomfortable tale of how I ended up with a tattoo on my arm to represent a friendship breakup. After trying three times to record this episode, I arrived at a profound conclusion and a very satisfying decision. In true fashion of 8, this episode is somewhat different to the others and feels like a trippy springboard for the next chunk of the season.

If you'd like to stay connected, sub to my substack, home of the pod, where I also write loose essays on art, myth and energetics: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

You can also check out my Youtube channel, Goodfellows Garden:https://www.youtube.com/@goodfellowsgarden

In today’s episode I discuss my early days in Barcelona, getting bullied by Spaniards and other inconvenient karmas. I focus on the unexpected magical encounters that occurred along the way. Blessings to two angels starting with A who redirected my path for the better. A multitude of meandering jaunts in this zero bagger.

If you'd like to stay connected, sub to my substack, home of the pod, where I also write loose essays on art, myth and energetics: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

You can also check out my Youtube channel, Goodfellows Garden: https://www.youtube.com/@goodfellowsgarden

Today we trot into the hills to explore an unbelievable experience I shared with my young counterpart aka my high school sweetheart between the ages of 12-19. This connection laid me a strange foundation for relational and social connection but holds an everlasting place in my heart. So does John Mayer, and his song Wheel.

If you'd like to stay connected, sub to my substack, home of the pod, where I also write loose essays on art, myth and energetics: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

You can also check out my Youtube channel, Goodfellows Garden:https://www.youtube.com/@goodfellowsgarden

Today I venture into my childhood to explore a close friendship that came to an abrupt and curious end. This friendship continues to shape me, and has offered profound insights into concepts of truth, mirrors and belonging.

If you'd like to stay connected, sub to my substack, home of the pod, where I also write loose essays on art, myth and energetics: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

You can also check out my Youtube channel, Goodfellows Garden:https://www.youtube.com/@goodfellowsgarden

Today I tell the tale of the ten day silent retreat where I nearly got kicked out for flashing. I then discuss how shortly after, I got high for the first time under very unusual circumstances. Both events enhanced my ability to be a good friend to myself, and to trust myself to find presence inside of distortion.

If you'd like to stay connected, sub to my substack, home of the pod, where I also write loose essays on art, myth and energetics: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

You can also check out my Youtube channel, Goodfellows Garden:https://www.youtube.com/@goodfellowsgarden

In today's episode I tell you about the dream that changed my life, the time I got my dream job and the reason I lost it. I also expel the most remarkable accidental sound from my human body that you have to hear to believe.

After recording this episode I had an epiphany that the dream I'd had was an exact foreshadowing of the event to come. The dangling carrot of my dream job was the identity; the costume I was being fitted for. In the end it was a grindstone, and I had to kill that identity instead. I believe it was my future self telling me to hold steady, and trust that the death would allow me to be free.

If you'd like to stay connected, sub to my substack, home of the pod, where I also write loose essays on art, myth and energetics: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

You can also check out my Youtube channel, Goodfellows Garden:https://www.youtube.com/@goodfellowsgarden

Today we go donut dumpster diving and I tell you an utterly wackadoo story involving two wizard brothers: one good and one, well... strange. Not all turning points are tragic, some are just 'tarded. I'd like to thank old mate and the homie for catalysing my mythic initiation. I wouldn't be here without them.

If you'd like to stay connected, sub to my substack, home of the pod, where I also write loose essays on art, myth and energetics: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/

You can also check out my Youtube channel, Goodfellows Garden:https://www.youtube.com/@goodfellowsgarden