I had huge plans of meditating through my labour. Hahaha I know, right? What a classic Hypothetical Parent thought/wanker. In my mind I would be connecting with some higher spirit of baby-getting-out-er-ing whilst I swam through the oceans of Atlantis with a freaking mermaid tail, humming the tune of the Water Gods and drinking from the Fountain Of Fertility. Obviously none of that happened. Instead I actually transformed into Satan himself and screamed explicits (that were honestly, even new to my dictionary) at everyone who even dared to look at me. I was an actual dragon. Even I was scared of me. Probably the reason that my baby took so damn long to leave my cosy insides was because it feared to meet the Satan-like creature waiting for it on the other side of the light.

In my first ever podcast I'd love to tell you what I never expected... after I expected!

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