I wake up and go to work I barely make it through the day throughout that time I dream of a life I am not living of people who are no longer in my life and to be a person that I am not.

I doom scroll first thing in the morning and spend all of my personal hours doing the same. Comparing my life to other occasionally chatting with friends and family. On a good day a call with someone makes me laugh or I read a book maybe take a walk. But those moments before I close my eyes again I am aimless scrolling on social media waiting for it to inspire me to do something. 

It sucks. It’s not the life I want to live. 

I think about spirituality and manifestation so much and after watching this movie it just made me realize how self-centered it can be if you allow it to. 

I can’t control everything. I can’t control other people. I can’t make everything in my life perfect. But I can try to be the best version of myself at all times. I can try to accomplish my goals. I can try instead of giving up.

I talk about my serotonin addiction on here a lot and I go through spurts of being really good and really bad but I’m going to say it now hopefully it will stick. I am going to stop spending so much time online. 

This was something I realized yesterday. The astrological transits right now are crazy hopefully I will be able to talk about that soon but I had just went too long seen too much and I was on tiktok and it helped me cook dinner and I was just overall very depressed yesterday and was wondering why. 

I decided to say no more social media tonight and for the first time in a long time I did my night routine i watched a movie without having tons of tabs up I was alone with my thoughts before bed it was just different. 

We all have a day that we live over and over again and i hope that in the future my day will be one where i am living my dream instead of something i dread. 

I am not perfect. No one is perfect. I heard on a podcast today someone said “I am the worst person I know” you know all of your flaws you know your deepest darkest secrets and you will never know someone to the extent that they know themselves. 

Oddly I think i try so hard to make my life a movie but watching this movie I made myself realize how my life isn’t one. 

I want my brain back. I want to do things because my brain told me to do them or because I saw it physically and was inspired. 

The internet is amazing and has connected us in so many ways. But at the end of the day I think too much of a good thing wont be a good thing for long. I know i have said that 1000 times on here but honestly it feels different now.

What is your groundhog day? And do you love it or do you hate it? Do you want to change it? It’s up to you decide. 

Thanks for listening and let’s see what comes of this little social media break! Thanks again hopefully I will be inspired to talk more now.