There are times in life when trying to be a good person can become exhausting.

A good daughter. A good mother. A good friend. A good employee. A good partner. A good citizen. So much of our lives can be shaped by trying to meet expectations, keep the peace, and make other people comfortable. But what happens when being good starts pulling us away from ourselves?

In this episode, I talk to Alice Bramhill about the thought she has carried with her from Carl Jung for decades: "I'd rather be whole than good."

Alice is a psychotherapist, mental health nurse, writer, podcaster, and advocate for deep feelers and big-hearted people pleasers. Together, we explore the hidden cost of constantly trying to get things right, and the relief that can come when we stop treating parts of ourselves as problems to solve.

We talk about people-pleasing, self-trust, sensitivity, boundaries, burnout, and the long process of learning to listen to ourselves again. We explore why so many of us struggle to know what we really want, how assumptions shape our lives and relationships, and why acceptance may be far more powerful than perfection.

Along the way, we discuss late-diagnosed neurodivergence, creativity in midlife, visibility, rejection sensitivity, motherhood, and the everyday work of becoming more fully ourselves.

What I loved about this conversation is that it isn't really about self-improvement. It's about self-acceptance. About letting go of the exhausting performance of being who we think we should be, and making room for who we actually are.

Alice Bramhill is a registered mental health nurse, psychotherapist, writer, podcast host, and creator of a thriving community for deep feelers and big-hearted people pleasers. Diagnosed with ADHD at 47 and autism at 50, she specialises in supporting late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults around relationships, boundaries, self-trust, masking, rejection sensitivity, and burnout. Her first book, I Need My Space But I Like You Too, is out later this year.

Whether you're navigating anxiety, emotional overwhelm, people-pleasing, or simply wondering how to feel more at home in yourself, I hope you'll find something in Alice's thought that stays with you too.

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About Claire Fitzsimmons

Claire is the host of A Thought I Kept, a wellbeing writer and the co-founder of If Lost Start Here. As an ICF Associate Certified Coach and a certified Emotions Coach Practitioner, Claire helps people navigate the everyday lost moments of their lives and all the feelings, from anxiety to grief, overwhelm to disconnection. 

Buy Claire's first book, If Lost Start Here: Wellbeing for the Anxious, Disconnected or Uncertain here.

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