Gentle disclaimer: the nature of this podcast is conversations about edgy stuff. Listen from a grounded, regulated place.

In this episode, we explore how se ual tra uma can shape desire, intimacy, and relational patterns in ways that often go unseen. Rather than prescribing what sexuality should look like, this conversation centers on discernment—how to tell the difference between true choice and patterns formed around survival, conditioning, and early relational confusion.

Through personal storytelling and nervous‑system‑informed reflection, we examine reenactment, agency, and the ways intensity is often mistaken for intimacy.

Topics Covered

-Trauma and the nervous system

-Reenactment vs. conscious choice

-Intensity, intimacy, and attachment

-Trauma bonding and relational patterns

-Agency, boundaries, and embodiment

Read Ashley's writing on celibacy.

Follow The Water We Swim In on Instagram

Follow Ashley Waverley on Instagram, or learn more about her work here.

Follow Samara Valentina on Instagram or learn more about her work here.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thewaterweswimin.substack.com