Warning and disclaimer: This is going to be a letdown. In 2015, when I was 32, I tried to kill myself. For the second time.When I woke to discover I was alive, which was the last thing I wanted, my mind raced with scenarios of how I could change that.I'd lost the most precious thing in the world to me: control. After having spent three days in a failed-suicide coma I was being moved from a medical floor at one hospital to the psych unit at another.