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When I Kept Silent About My Sin (Psalm 32:3-5)
David committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband, Uriah, in 2 Samuel 11. We wouldn’t know it from that chapter, but David was paying an excruciating price while he wouldn’t confess. He wrote, “When I kept silent about my sin,” and then described the consequences he experienced in Psalm 32:3-5.
Table of contentsOutline for Psalm 32:1-5Psalm 32:3-4 Describes David's Misery When He Kept Silent About His SinSin Is a Heavy BurdenIf We Keep Silent About Sin, It Can Physically Affect UsIf We Keep Silent About Sin, It Can Bring God’s DisciplineDavid's ConfessionA Confession Can Bring ReliefIf We Keep Silent About Our Sin, We Fail to Prosper or Obtain MercyA Confession Can Be Short If It Is SincereSincere Confessions Can Bring Habitual Sins to an EndNathan's Response to David's Confession
https://youtu.be/NmTSVy4EhL0
David wrote, “When I kept silent about my sin,” and then in Psalm 32:3-5 described the consequences he experienced when he wouldn’t confess.
I want to tell you about one of the most difficult students I had as an elementary school teacher, who also became one of my favorites. His father was in jail. I still remember reading a letter he wrote him encouraging him to be strong because he knew prison must be really difficult. Imagine a son writing that to a father!
I don’t think his mother was in the picture. His aunt, who also had her children to care for, raised him. I don’t think she was married, so she had to work full-time to care for herself and the children, which didn’t leave much time for him.
Even though he behaved poorly, regularly disrupting class and getting in trouble, I would have had him in class every year if I could have. So, what gave me so much affection for him besides his difficult background, which made me want to see him succeed? He never argued, made excuses, lied, or blamed others when he got in trouble. He made foolish decisions but admitted what he did wrong whenever I confronted him.
I found this to be very refreshing because the first two words out of most students’ mouths when they were in trouble were the word “But” followed by the name of the student they wanted to blame: “But Brian hit me first,” or “But Jessica was talking to me when I was trying to work.”
The humility to accept responsibility is endearing and impressive. I have often wondered how King David could be the Man after God’s Own Heart after committing adultery with Bathsheba and then trying to hide his sin by murdering her husband, Uriah. David’s actions were so wicked that we would doubt the salvation of anyone else who did the same. I’m convinced that at least part of the reason God spoke so highly of David was his humility in accepting responsibility for his actions.
Outline for Psalm 32:1-5
In Psalm 32, which David wrote after confessing, he did two fascinating things:
In Psalm 32:1-2 David wrote about the blessedness for those whose sins God covers.
In Psalm 32:3-5 David wrote about the misery he experienced when he kept silent about his sin.
Psalm 32:3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah
When David said, “When I kept silent,” he criticized himself. He meant:
“When I wouldn’t confess my sin.”
“When I pretended to be deaf to the Holy Spirit’s conviction.”
“When I was stubborn, proud, and rebellious.”
If Cain, Absalom, or Ahab had written these words, we wouldn’t wonder what they were thinking because we expect men like them to keep silent about their sins. But David wrote these words, and he was the Man after God’s Own Heart. So, we can wonder what a deeply spiritual and godly man could have been thinking when he kept silent about his sin.
I have wondered this many times. Some of you might remember that the first books I chose to preach through when I came to WCC were 1 and 2 Samuel. I don’t think it would be too much to say that second only to Jesus, I have spent more time thinking about and studying David than anyone else in Scripture.
I have come to believe that David likely hoped the conviction and shame would go away with time. If that wasn’t the case, then why wouldn’t he confess? But conviction is a painful feeling that doesn’t disappear, at least for believers.
Romans 1 describes reprobates who have been given over to their sin, and their conviction goes away. Ephesians 4:19 describes people “who, BEING PAST FEELING, have given themselves over to sin.” Their conviction has gone away. 1 Timothy 4:2 describes “liars whose CONSCIENCES ARE SEARED.” Their conviction has also gone away. But these are unbelievers. For believers, conviction doesn’t disappear. The struggle gets worse with each passing day.
Sometimes, getting caught can be a relief. We want our sin brought to light, so we are forced to deal with it. We don’t want to be able to hide any longer or keep living a double life because it is exhausting and painful.
Psalm 32:3-4 Describes David's Misery When He Kept Silent About His Sin
Second Samuel 11 records David’s murder and adultery. We wouldn’t know it from that chapter, but David was paying an excruciating price when he kept silent. One of the marks of the integrity of Scripture is it records the lowest points of some of its greatest people. No punches are pulled.
David experienced many painful seasons in his life:
I think about when he had to spend over ten years fleeing from Saul, who was trying to take his life. He had to leave his family and friends behind and live in caves. During this time, Saul also took his daughter, Michael, David’s wife, from David and gave her to another man.
I think about when David’s son, Absalom, took the throne from him. Making it worse, much of the nation that David loved and served joined Absalom, including the elders of the land and David’s close friend, Ahithophel.
I think about the end of David’s life when his son, Adonijah, took the throne from him, and some of the men who had been loyal to David for decades, such as his nephew and general, Joab, and Abiathar, the priest, joined Adonijah.
We don’t know which of these seasons was the worst for David because he didn’t rank them from least to most excruciating. For greater insight, we can look at David's psalms, which describe many of these seasons. I think we would be hard-pressed to find another psalm describing David feeling as bad as he did in Psalm 32 when he kept silent about his sin.
Sin Is a Heavy Burden
John Donne said, “Sin is a serpent, and whoever covers it only keeps it warm so it may sting even more fiercely, and disperse the venom more effectively.”
John Bunyan understood this well because he tried to capture it in his famous book. Pilgrim’s Progress is a Christian allegory. An allegory is a literary device that uses the names of people, places, or events to represent the qualities or ideas they represent. For example, in Pilgrim’s Progress:
The protagonist, Christian, represents Christians during our earthly journeys.
Evangelist sets Christian on his journey by preaching the gospel to him.
Pliable is insecure and travels only briefly before giving up.
Obstinate is stubborn and thinks the journey is foolish.
One of the strongest, most recurring images throughout the book is the burden Christian carries, which represents sin. Christian spends the book trying to get rid of this burden. He says, “That which I seek for [is] to be rid of this heavy burden; but get it off my self I cannot: nor is there a man in our Country that can take it off my shoulders; therefore am I going this way, as I told you, that I may be rid of my burden.”
We sing about sin being a heavy burden. Consider the lyrics of this well-known hymn, "What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! Are we weak and heavy-laden, cumbered with a load of care?" Joseph M. Scriven is the author of this hymn, and he praised Jesus for bearing our sins for us because they are such a burden.
If We Keep Silent About Sin, It Can Physically Affect Us
We tend to think of certain sins as having physical consequences, such as addictions to drugs or alcohol. We might recognize that sinful anger affects us physically because of the increased blood pressure and wear and tear on our hearts. But we probably don’t think of adultery and murder as having physical consequences when they’re unconfessed. But David described the physical consequences. Look at each phrase in verse 2:
“My bones wasted away,” which means David could feel it deeply.
“Through my groaning all day long,” which means David’s pain never went away.
“Day and night your hand was heavy upon me,” which means David couldn’t sleep. Nighttime wasn’t any better than daytime.
“My strength was dried up as by the heat of summer,” which means David knew it was aging him. His vitality was leaving him. He could feel his sin slowly killing him.
1 Kings 1:1 King David was old and advanced in years. And although they covered him with clothes, he could not get warm.
David sounds like a sick, decrepit old man. His body was failing him. This would be expected if David were as old as the godly men in the Old Testament when they died. So, what age did godly men die in the Old Testament? Here are a few examples:
Abraham died at 175.
Isaac died at 180.
Jacob died at 147.
Moses died at 120.
Joshua died at 110.
David was only 70 when he died. He was probably about 50 old when he committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered Uriah. Up to that point, he was one of the most vibrant and vigorous men in Scripture. But after his sin, his health quickly deteriorated at a young age. I think part of it is that when David kept silent about his sin, it took not just a spiritual, mental, and emotional toll on him but a physical one as well.
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By Scott LaPierre
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David committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband, Uriah, in 2 Samuel 11. We wouldn’t know it from that chapter, but David was paying an excruciating price while he wouldn’t confess. He wrote, “When I kept silent about my sin,” and then described the consequences he experienced in Psalm 32:3-5.
Table of contentsOutline for Psalm 32:1-5Psalm 32:3-4 Describes David's Misery When He Kept Silent About His SinSin Is a Heavy BurdenIf We Keep Silent About Sin, It Can Physically Affect UsIf We Keep Silent About Sin, It Can Bring God’s DisciplineDavid's ConfessionA Confession Can Bring ReliefIf We Keep Silent About Our Sin, We Fail to Prosper or Obtain MercyA Confession Can Be Short If It Is SincereSincere Confessions Can Bring Habitual Sins to an EndNathan's Response to David's Confession
https://youtu.be/NmTSVy4EhL0
David wrote, “When I kept silent about my sin,” and then in Psalm 32:3-5 described the consequences he experienced when he wouldn’t confess.
I want to tell you about one of the most difficult students I had as an elementary school teacher, who also became one of my favorites. His father was in jail. I still remember reading a letter he wrote him encouraging him to be strong because he knew prison must be really difficult. Imagine a son writing that to a father!
I don’t think his mother was in the picture. His aunt, who also had her children to care for, raised him. I don’t think she was married, so she had to work full-time to care for herself and the children, which didn’t leave much time for him.
Even though he behaved poorly, regularly disrupting class and getting in trouble, I would have had him in class every year if I could have. So, what gave me so much affection for him besides his difficult background, which made me want to see him succeed? He never argued, made excuses, lied, or blamed others when he got in trouble. He made foolish decisions but admitted what he did wrong whenever I confronted him.
I found this to be very refreshing because the first two words out of most students’ mouths when they were in trouble were the word “But” followed by the name of the student they wanted to blame: “But Brian hit me first,” or “But Jessica was talking to me when I was trying to work.”
The humility to accept responsibility is endearing and impressive. I have often wondered how King David could be the Man after God’s Own Heart after committing adultery with Bathsheba and then trying to hide his sin by murdering her husband, Uriah. David’s actions were so wicked that we would doubt the salvation of anyone else who did the same. I’m convinced that at least part of the reason God spoke so highly of David was his humility in accepting responsibility for his actions.
Outline for Psalm 32:1-5
In Psalm 32, which David wrote after confessing, he did two fascinating things:
In Psalm 32:1-2 David wrote about the blessedness for those whose sins God covers.
In Psalm 32:3-5 David wrote about the misery he experienced when he kept silent about his sin.
Psalm 32:3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah
When David said, “When I kept silent,” he criticized himself. He meant:
“When I wouldn’t confess my sin.”
“When I pretended to be deaf to the Holy Spirit’s conviction.”
“When I was stubborn, proud, and rebellious.”
If Cain, Absalom, or Ahab had written these words, we wouldn’t wonder what they were thinking because we expect men like them to keep silent about their sins. But David wrote these words, and he was the Man after God’s Own Heart. So, we can wonder what a deeply spiritual and godly man could have been thinking when he kept silent about his sin.
I have wondered this many times. Some of you might remember that the first books I chose to preach through when I came to WCC were 1 and 2 Samuel. I don’t think it would be too much to say that second only to Jesus, I have spent more time thinking about and studying David than anyone else in Scripture.
I have come to believe that David likely hoped the conviction and shame would go away with time. If that wasn’t the case, then why wouldn’t he confess? But conviction is a painful feeling that doesn’t disappear, at least for believers.
Romans 1 describes reprobates who have been given over to their sin, and their conviction goes away. Ephesians 4:19 describes people “who, BEING PAST FEELING, have given themselves over to sin.” Their conviction has gone away. 1 Timothy 4:2 describes “liars whose CONSCIENCES ARE SEARED.” Their conviction has also gone away. But these are unbelievers. For believers, conviction doesn’t disappear. The struggle gets worse with each passing day.
Sometimes, getting caught can be a relief. We want our sin brought to light, so we are forced to deal with it. We don’t want to be able to hide any longer or keep living a double life because it is exhausting and painful.
Psalm 32:3-4 Describes David's Misery When He Kept Silent About His Sin
Second Samuel 11 records David’s murder and adultery. We wouldn’t know it from that chapter, but David was paying an excruciating price when he kept silent. One of the marks of the integrity of Scripture is it records the lowest points of some of its greatest people. No punches are pulled.
David experienced many painful seasons in his life:
I think about when he had to spend over ten years fleeing from Saul, who was trying to take his life. He had to leave his family and friends behind and live in caves. During this time, Saul also took his daughter, Michael, David’s wife, from David and gave her to another man.
I think about when David’s son, Absalom, took the throne from him. Making it worse, much of the nation that David loved and served joined Absalom, including the elders of the land and David’s close friend, Ahithophel.
I think about the end of David’s life when his son, Adonijah, took the throne from him, and some of the men who had been loyal to David for decades, such as his nephew and general, Joab, and Abiathar, the priest, joined Adonijah.
We don’t know which of these seasons was the worst for David because he didn’t rank them from least to most excruciating. For greater insight, we can look at David's psalms, which describe many of these seasons. I think we would be hard-pressed to find another psalm describing David feeling as bad as he did in Psalm 32 when he kept silent about his sin.
Sin Is a Heavy Burden
John Donne said, “Sin is a serpent, and whoever covers it only keeps it warm so it may sting even more fiercely, and disperse the venom more effectively.”
John Bunyan understood this well because he tried to capture it in his famous book. Pilgrim’s Progress is a Christian allegory. An allegory is a literary device that uses the names of people, places, or events to represent the qualities or ideas they represent. For example, in Pilgrim’s Progress:
The protagonist, Christian, represents Christians during our earthly journeys.
Evangelist sets Christian on his journey by preaching the gospel to him.
Pliable is insecure and travels only briefly before giving up.
Obstinate is stubborn and thinks the journey is foolish.
One of the strongest, most recurring images throughout the book is the burden Christian carries, which represents sin. Christian spends the book trying to get rid of this burden. He says, “That which I seek for [is] to be rid of this heavy burden; but get it off my self I cannot: nor is there a man in our Country that can take it off my shoulders; therefore am I going this way, as I told you, that I may be rid of my burden.”
We sing about sin being a heavy burden. Consider the lyrics of this well-known hymn, "What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! Are we weak and heavy-laden, cumbered with a load of care?" Joseph M. Scriven is the author of this hymn, and he praised Jesus for bearing our sins for us because they are such a burden.
If We Keep Silent About Sin, It Can Physically Affect Us
We tend to think of certain sins as having physical consequences, such as addictions to drugs or alcohol. We might recognize that sinful anger affects us physically because of the increased blood pressure and wear and tear on our hearts. But we probably don’t think of adultery and murder as having physical consequences when they’re unconfessed. But David described the physical consequences. Look at each phrase in verse 2:
“My bones wasted away,” which means David could feel it deeply.
“Through my groaning all day long,” which means David’s pain never went away.
“Day and night your hand was heavy upon me,” which means David couldn’t sleep. Nighttime wasn’t any better than daytime.
“My strength was dried up as by the heat of summer,” which means David knew it was aging him. His vitality was leaving him. He could feel his sin slowly killing him.
1 Kings 1:1 King David was old and advanced in years. And although they covered him with clothes, he could not get warm.
David sounds like a sick, decrepit old man. His body was failing him. This would be expected if David were as old as the godly men in the Old Testament when they died. So, what age did godly men die in the Old Testament? Here are a few examples:
Abraham died at 175.
Isaac died at 180.
Jacob died at 147.
Moses died at 120.
Joshua died at 110.
David was only 70 when he died. He was probably about 50 old when he committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered Uriah. Up to that point, he was one of the most vibrant and vigorous men in Scripture. But after his sin, his health quickly deteriorated at a young age. I think part of it is that when David kept silent about his sin, it took not just a spiritual, mental, and emotional toll on him but a physical one as well.