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We explore the misconception that couples struggle with communication when they're actually struggling with conflict resolution. Silence communicates as powerfully as words, and many people repeat the same ineffective strategies while expecting different results.

• Early experiences with conflict in our families shape our approach to disagreements in adult relationships
• Many couples never witnessed healthy conflict resolution growing up
• Gottman's Four Horsemen (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling) predict relationship breakdown
• Using "gentle startups" with "I" statements creates safer communication
• Remember it's not you versus your partner—it's both of you versus the problem
• Emotional intelligence helps recognize when you need a timeout during heated discussions
• Pre-plan how you'll handle conflicts, including signals for breaks and commitments to return
• Timing matters—don't bring up sensitive topics at inappropriate moments
• Intentionally reconnect after conflicts through physical touch and verbal reassurance
• Consider "parking" some issues temporarily when you're not making progress

Take time to resolve your conflicts, start conversations gently, and remember that empathy is the glue that holds relationships together.

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