NeuroDADverse

When Independence Gets Messy: Letting Go, Holding On, and Parenting Neurodivergent Teens | NeuroDADverse Ep.22


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šŸŽ§ Episode 22

This week, Ben and Dan dive into the beautiful chaos of raising neurodivergent teens, that messy middle ground where independence collides with anxiety, sensory overwhelm, and the parental urge to hold on just a little longer.


From fireworks and dark winter nights to bath time routines and growing social freedom, the dads unpack how it feels to let their kids explore the world while learning to manage their own fears and expectations.


Ben shares a milestone moment as Oscar and Mabel manage a successful sleepover at Nana’s, complete with chips, transitions, and surprising confidence. Meanwhile, Dan opens up about navigating firework anxiety and independence, the push-and-pull between safety and trust that every ND parent knows too well.


Key Topics Covered

•Independence milestones for ND teens (first solo outings & sleepovers)

•Sensory triggers during public events (fireworks, noise, transitions)

•Parental anxiety vs child autonomy

•The psychology of letting go and building trust

•Managing expectations at school and parents’ evenings

•Supporting stimming behaviour without shame

•Communicating ND needs to extended family (grandparents, babysitters)

•Why positive reinforcement matters more than ā€œfixingā€ behaviour

•Ongoing journey of bath time independence & routine building


As always, the conversation is honest, heartfelt, and full of humour, proof that small wins can feel huge when you’re parenting in the NeuroDADverse.


YouTube Chapter Breakdown (ā±ļø 87 mins total)

00:00 – Intro: Welcome Back to The NeuroDADverse

02:00 – Three Words of the Week: Future, Family & Trust

04:30 – Live Challenge: The ā€œBath Time Independenceā€ Experiment

07:00 – Fireworks, Fear & Letting Go (Mabel’s Night Out)

10:00 – Parenting Anxiety in Public: Crowds, Noise & Control

14:00 – Ben’s Challenge: Managing Routine Changes with Frankie

18:00 – Why Home Feels Safest: Light, Noise & Sensory Shifts

20:00 – Overthinking vs. Underthinking: How ND Brains Process the Day

26:00 – Real Wins: Oscar’s Regulation & Routine

29:00 – Sleepover Success: Transitions, Chips & Nana’s House

33:00 – Building Trust Through Small Steps

37:00 – Parents’ Evenings: Hope, Optimism & Hidden Pride

43:00 – Why Positive Feedback Matters for ND Parents

46:00 – Frankie’s Progress: Understanding, Stimming & Self-Expression

52:00 – Public Stimming & Removing the Shame

55:00 – Babysitting ND Kids: How to Support Without the Guilt

59:00 – Communication, Curiosity & Confidence-Building

62:00 – Week Ahead: Open Evenings & Post-16 Planning

65:00 – Bath Time Scoreboard: Independence vs. Support

71:00 – Tracking the Wins (and the Data)

77:00 – Emotional Regulation & Time Blindness

83:00 – Reflections, Reminders & Our Three Things

86:00 – Outro: ā€œYou’re Doing Great. You Are Enough. You’re Not Alone.ā€


šŸ’” If this episode resonates, whether you’re a zebra, a stripy horse, or still figuring it all out. There’s space for you in the NeuroDADverse.


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linktr.ee/NeuroDADverse


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•Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/NeuroDADverseApple

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NeuroDADverseBy Danny Eycott - Ben Wisdom-Quieros