The Beer Driven Devs

When It’s Your Job to Stay Calm


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This one started as a ramble — side projects, creative detours, all the usual suspects.

But somewhere in the second act, a theme emerged: what it means to lead a team through the tough stuff. When stress is high, emotions are raw, and everyone’s looking at you — how do you stay calm without going cold?

In contrast to our earlier chat in the now-infamous Burndown Burnout episode — which focused on navigating stakeholders and external pressure — this one turns inward: the emotional labour of being the steady one inside the team.

We talk:

  • Making space for your team without carrying their stress
  • How to support individuals without slipping into over-functioning
  • The difference between empathy and over-identifying
  • Why being calm isn’t the same as being passive
  • The tension between being seen to lead vs actually leading
  • There’s no script, no tidy arc — just a meandering yarn that ends up in a surprisingly vulnerable place. If you’ve ever felt the quiet weight of leadership, this one’s for you.

    🍻 Tonight’s Drinks:

    Matt: Fever Tree Sicilian Lime Soda + Pink Grapefruit Soda

    Liam: Young Henry’s Newtowner followed by a cheeky Archie Rose

    Any 👍 Likes, 📣 Shares, 🔔 Subscriptions, and ❤️ Love go a long way to helping us continue this podcast.

    Cheers! 🍻

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    The Beer Driven DevsBy Matt Goldman & Liam Elliott