How are we supposed to respond when our kids talk back? Some experts say it’s normal child behavior, and as such, we should take a deep breath and ignore it. We say no way. But yelling “How dare you talk to me like that in my house?” isn’t getting us anywhere, either. So what’s the best response?
 In this episode we discuss
 
 how our kids’ talking back can really be about underlying anxiety
 how talking back is also about who’s in control
 how our response is the key to setting ongoing expectations
 why it’s harder for us to handle talking back when it happens in public
 why Margaret thinks it’s okay if our kids think we’re a little bit like Darth Vader
 why Amy says a little Yoda thrown in there might not be the worst idea
 
 We like Dr. Laura Markham’s suggestion for a better thing to say when kids talk back:

You can tell me what you’re upset about without attacking me. What’s going on?

Even for grownups, there’s a difference between standing up for yourself and being rude. We want our kids to have the ability to do the former without the latter. Which means we have to show them how to do it.
Here’s links to other articles and research discussed in this episode:
Dr. Laura Markham for Psychology Today: What To Do When Your Kid Talks Back
Tamekia Reece for Parents: What To Do When Kids Talk Back
Dr. Michele Borba for Parents: Helping Kids Handle Anger
The Military Wife and Mom: How to Handle Back Talk and Disrespect Like a Parenting Warrior
Joseph P. Allen et al, University of Virginia: Predictors of Susceptibility to Peer Influence Regarding Substance Use in Adolescence
…and Margaret recommended the book What Children Learn From Their Parents’ Marriages
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When Kids Talk Back

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard.
We're Amy and Margaret, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like.
In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!  
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Comedy

Kids & Family

Parenting

The human tendency to solve problems by adding something is called "additive solution bias." However, sometimes a problem is more quickly and effectively solved by taking something away.
In this episode we talk about how "additive solution bias" can play out in our parenting strategies, and how we can become more aware of the times when what we actually need to do is take something away.
Amy and Margaret discuss:

Why our brains are wired to solve problems by adding things

How additive solution bias increases along with the size of the problem we're attempting to solve

Why removing something, or doing less, isn't automatically easier


Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. 

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Diana Kwon for Scientific American: "Our Brain Typically Overlooks This Brilliant Problem-Solving Strategy"


Gabrielle S. Adams, et. al for Nature: "People systematically overlook subtractive changes"


Less is more: Why our brains struggle to subtract

Anthony Sanni: Additive Bias—and how it could be affecting your productivity


Braess's paradox

Rachel Fairbank for Lifehacker: "Why You Should 'Subtract' From Your Parenting"


SUBTRACT by Leidy Klotz

Our Fresh Take with Amanda Montell

Our Fresh Take with Yael Schonbrun

THE SENSORY CHILD GETS ORGANIZED by Carolyn Dalgliesh


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent
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What Can We Add? What Can We Take Away?

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.
Kate Mangino, PhD, is a gender expert and professional facilitator who has been working internationally for nearly 20 years. She is the author of the new book Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equity at Home, an informed guide about how readers can rewrite harmful gender norms and create greater household equity.
Here's where you can find Kate:

https://www.katemangino.com

@ManginoKate on X

Buy EQUAL PARTNERS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250276117



We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity
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DEEP DIVE: Kate Mangino on Increasing Gender Equity

Cognitive biases are self-deceptive thought patterns we all use to make sense of the world. In a world that makes less and less sense, Amanda Montell argues, humans have become more irrational than ever. In her new book THE AGE OF MAGICAL OVERTHINKING, Montell explains how our brains' coping mechanisms have become overloaded—and how to slow down our panic responses when the world becomes too overwhelming.
Amanda, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

How magical overthinking has manifested from the modern age of mass information overload and an epidemic of loneliness

The types of cognitive biases that comprise magical overthinking, such as the sunk cost fallacy, the halo effect, and proportionality bias

Strategies to combat the negative effects of magical overthinking


Here's where you can find Amanda: 

https://amandamontell.com/

@amanda_montell on IG

Buy THE AGE OF MAGICAL OVERTHINKING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668007976


Listen to the "Sounds Like a Cult" podcast


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
manifest reality, positive thinking, toxic positivity, magical thinking, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, 
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Fresh Take: Amanda Montell and the Age of Magical Overthinking

We all know what extreme "oversharenting" is when we see it. It's the gray areas that get harder. When we post about our kid's adventures in potty training, are we supposed to think twice? 
What will happen when our kids are old enough to want to curate their own internet presence?  
How concerned should we be about the privacy we may have given away without thinking? 
Amy and Margaret discuss:

the digital footprint and the "right to be forgotten"

what to check in your privacy settings

when to start asking kids for permission before you post

the benefits we gain from sharing about our families online


Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Zoya Garg, Elmer Gomez and Luciana Yael Petrzela for the NY Times: "If You Didn't 'Sharent,' Did You Even Parent?"


Sean Coughlan for the BBC: "'Sharenting' puts young at risk of online fraud"


Fortesa Latifi for Cosmopolitan: "What’s the Price of a Childhood Turned Into Content?"


Fortesa Latifi for Cosmopolitan: "'We’re Never Doing This Again': What It Took for These Parenting Influencers to Pull Their Kids Offline"


Paula Cocozza for The Guardian: "‘I was so embarrassed I cried’: do parents share too much online?"


Amy Webb for Slate: "We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online"


Jennifer Valentino-DeVries and Michael H. Keller for the NY Times: "A Marketplace of Girl Influencers Managed by Moms and Stalked by Men"


Megan Francis: When Your “Worst-Mom Moment” Becomes A Viral Meme (And How The “Surfboard Kid” Became A Man)



We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,
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Do We Share Too Much About Our Kids Online?

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. 
Want to see a mother get mad? Tell her she's "nagging" you after she's been obligated to repeat an entirely reasonable request several times over. And just why is "nagging" a word that's almost exclusively applied to women?
We need the other members of our households to show up and do their share. As the default parents, we own the lists. So do we stop caring whether others like how we ask and remind? Do we enforce a back-to-one where we're not forced to ask repeatedly in the first place?
In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

The sexism and etymology of the word "nag"

What Amy says are the three types of "nagging," and why we should separate them out

What to say when our repeated asking is framed as annoying to other people (guess to whom it's also annoying, too?)


Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Jessica Zhang on LinkedIn: "What's In a Nag?"


Episode from If Books Could Kill podcast: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"


McClelland, T., & Sliwa, P: "Gendered affordance perception and unequal domestic labour."


Our episode with Lynyetta Willis on "Stable Misery"


Our episode with Eve Rodsky on "Changing the Invisible Workload"


Anne Helen Petersen's newsletter Culture Study



We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,
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When Kids Talk Back

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