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When Love Turns Into Obligation | Healing Resentment in Marriage After Kids | Ep. 78
Have you and your partner ever argued about something trivial, a birthday cake, a chore, or a tone of voice, and realized it was really about something deeper?
In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, I unpack how love, once effortless, can begin to feel like an obligation when unspoken fears and fatigue take over.
This isn’t an episode about blame.
It’s about understanding.
Why resentment builds even in loving relationships.
Why partners often feel unseen despite their effort.
And how to move from scorekeeping to soulkeeping
…rebuilding connection not through equality, but empathy.
We look at the psychology behind resentment, the gendered conditioning that fuels emotional misfires, and the small yet profound acts that reignite warmth in long-term love.
You’ll learn why overgiving turns into quiet bitterness, why “help” is never the same as “partnership,” and why even care, when performed out of fear, can feel like rejection.
Whether you’re the partner who over-functions or the one who freezes, this conversation will help you decode the hidden messages behind your conflicts, and guide you toward a relationship that feels emotionally generous again.
In a gist we talk about:
2. How gender conditioning creates invisible emotional roles that breed fatigue.
3. Practical tools to move from obligation to choice — including weekly check-ins and reframing “help” into true partnership.
4. The emotional truth behind the phrase “I shouldn’t have to ask,” and what it reveals about unseen labor, love, and longing.
You’ll walk away not just with insights but with heart-level clarity:
love isn’t about doing more…
it’s about doing from truth.
Because when you stop trying to earn love, you finally start to feel it again.
👇
Download these resources I mentioned
👉 7-Day Reconnect Challenge
👉 The Sunday Reconnect
–-
🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights
📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support
📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!
---
Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: [email protected])
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
View all episodes
By Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence ExpertHave you and your partner ever argued about something trivial, a birthday cake, a chore, or a tone of voice, and realized it was really about something deeper?
In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, I unpack how love, once effortless, can begin to feel like an obligation when unspoken fears and fatigue take over.
This isn’t an episode about blame.
It’s about understanding.
Why resentment builds even in loving relationships.
Why partners often feel unseen despite their effort.
And how to move from scorekeeping to soulkeeping
…rebuilding connection not through equality, but empathy.
We look at the psychology behind resentment, the gendered conditioning that fuels emotional misfires, and the small yet profound acts that reignite warmth in long-term love.
You’ll learn why overgiving turns into quiet bitterness, why “help” is never the same as “partnership,” and why even care, when performed out of fear, can feel like rejection.
Whether you’re the partner who over-functions or the one who freezes, this conversation will help you decode the hidden messages behind your conflicts, and guide you toward a relationship that feels emotionally generous again.
In a gist we talk about:
2. How gender conditioning creates invisible emotional roles that breed fatigue.
3. Practical tools to move from obligation to choice — including weekly check-ins and reframing “help” into true partnership.
4. The emotional truth behind the phrase “I shouldn’t have to ask,” and what it reveals about unseen labor, love, and longing.
You’ll walk away not just with insights but with heart-level clarity:
love isn’t about doing more…
it’s about doing from truth.
Because when you stop trying to earn love, you finally start to feel it again.
👇
Download these resources I mentioned
👉 7-Day Reconnect Challenge
👉 The Sunday Reconnect
–-
🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights
📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support
📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!
---
Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: [email protected])
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com