Welcome back to the podcast where Mercury is always in retrograde—emotionally.

Today we’re looking to the stars to discuss astrology: birth charts so specific they feel like legal documents, love matches that predict your soulmate and your next bad decision, and people who hear one vague trait and go, “Wow… that’s literally me.”

Somehow, your zodiac sign is now your entire personality. Moody? Cancer. Dramatic? Leo. Ghosting people? Must be in your chart.

And of course, we ask the most important question: what’s your sign? Because apparently… that explains everything