Tim grew up with a parent who, every time he shared a struggle, would take the other person's side — the boss, the teacher, anyone but him. This episode unpacks the psychology behind that pattern: why some parents default to siding against their own children, how "tough love" becomes a rationalization for emotional avoidance, and what happens to a child's sense of self when their problems are always treated as their fault. We explore the mechanisms — narcissistic extension-of-self, triangulation, emotional regulation deficits — and trace the long-term damage: eroded self-trust, silence as a survival strategy, and the adult struggle to share struggles at all. Then we get practical: how do you recognize this pattern in yourself, and what concrete strategies can break the cycle so you don't become the parent who always takes the other side?