Isabelle's kids--a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year old boy--get on each other's nerves. He knows just the buttons to push and she overreacts immediately when he pushes them.

Today, Isabelle and I talk about what steps she can take towards solving this problem. We talk about how it's not her fault or failure as a mother, and how it's natural and normal for people who love each other to get on each other's nerves. We talk about how it's likely that they're testing to see who Isabelle loves more, and how the best approach for Isabelle is not to take sides, but instead to let them work it out on their own. We talk about the importance of agreeing on boundaries and figuring out solutions together instead of Isabelle imposing a solution on them. We end by discussing the importance of a loving tone and by noting that the change won't be immediate.

"If they're gonna hit each other, then they're gonna hit each other" - Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• Why it's okay to get each other's nerves
• Giving the kids the right to be in control
• Coming up with a silly code word to let the other know you need alone time
• Agreement of boundaries
• The importance of validating how they feel

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