Do you remember those school books? Sure, I'm talking about those books you spent so much time staring at, and at least occasionally, seriously reading. In many of them, there was a summary at the end of each chapter. I know you never did this, but I would sometimes see if I could get away with reading the summary and skipping reading the chapter itself.

Okay, that's enough for confessions. We are at the point in our Blind How journey to call this the end of the Introduction, if Blind How were a book. That means it's time to insert a chapter summary. The summary in a nutshell is this:

If I can't see and success for me is to be, it's up to me.

Let me share a tiny anecdote that captures the essence of helping children who can't see, understanding how to succeed when we can't see, and most everything you will ever need to know about how to do when you can't see.

I was six-years-old and in the first grade. My mother had come to pick me up after school and was talking to my teacher, Miss Icenogle. I was playing near by and dropped the pencile I was using. My mother immediately started to pick it up and hand it to me. Miss Icenogle said, "No, let him look for it. He needs to learn to listen to those types of things. If he looks and still can't find it, then you can hand it too him, making sure to mention where you found it." And thus, a long journey of learning to do it for myself was underway.

With "I'll learn to do it myself," as our mantra, let me try summarizing Blind How to this point.

• Good communication skills matter a lot. Start by looking at whoever is talking, whether he or she is talking to you or to someone else.

People are more comfortable when they and those with whom they are talking look at each other. Face-to-Face is the preferred mode.

• Stand or sit up straight, look up at others when you or they are talking and speak up so others can hear you without needing to make any special effort.

• The single best way to be taken seriously in any conversation is to make it clear that you are taking other people and what they say seriously. If you first attend to taking the other person seriously, he or she will be more apt to take you and what you say seriously. The more seriously they take you and what you say, the more your not seeing moves into the background, the less likely they are to put you into their blind box.

• There is a critical difference between can't and haven't yet figured out how. When we put BATS (Best Alternative To Seeing) first, "I can't see" is never the end of it. Any time there is something we need to do or just want to do, the challenge is to figure out what our best alternative to seeing is, while still being able to do whatever it is we need or want.

Here's the thing. It's far too easy for many of us to play our blind card. We either wait for someone who can see to help us with the activity or do the task for us, or we simply avoid the activity. Can't or at least won't wins. The outcome is cumulative: we gradually do less and less, avoiding more and more.

Here it is in the proverbial nutshell. The best alternative to not seeing is to figure out how to do whatever you want done, by yourself, without depending on sighted assistance, unless necessary.

Here's the good news. Most everything you want to do is being done somewhere and being done independently, by a person who can't see. For those times when sighted assistance is necessary, anonymous help is often there, on your phone.

The bad news is that developing the needed skills and accessing the available resources takes time, effort and a big measure of determination.

Try this, "If it is to be, it's up to me, so BATS it shall be, for me."

• But how do we who can't see do that, how do we do what we want to do, get what we want? I know of three general approaches that usually cover the challenge for me. First, I can get someone who can see to do it for me or get it for me. Second, I can enlist the help of someone who can see to...