You want love. You have love.

But sometimes… closeness still feels like a threat.

You shut down. You lash out. You say you’re fine—but inside, your system is bracing for the worst.

This episode is for the partner with trauma—the one who’s been through things that made love feel unsafe. The one who’s still learning how to trust connection without losing control.

In part two of this two-part series, Dr. Rachel Orleck flips the lens inward and speaks directly to you—the one with the deeper wounds. With equal parts truth and tenderness, she unpacks how trauma hijacks connection, what your protectors are trying to do for you, and how to start taking small emotional risks that build safety without overwhelming your nervous system.

Whether you’re trying to repair a cycle, rebuild closeness, or just understand yourself better—this is your episode.

🧠 What You’ll Learn:

1. Why trauma shows up strongest when you’re finally safe
2. How protectors like withdrawal, perfectionism, and people-pleasing silently block connection
3. The emotional toll this cycle takes on your partner (and how to hear that without shame)
4. Practical, small emotional risks you can take to feel close without feeling exposed
5. Why you don’t need to be fully healed to love well—you just need to stay in the room

Resources

1. Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.
2. Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.
3. Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.
4. The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.
5. Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am…

My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short episodes. Companion Workbook. Nervous system resets you can actually use in the moment.

This is where we move from understanding the cycle to interrupting it.

[Start here]

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or medical provider.

🙌 Share This Episode With:

1. A partner who doesn’t understand why you react the way you do
2. A therapist or coach who supports people navigating trauma in relationships
3. Yourself—again. Especially on the days you think you’re “too much”

🔁 Missed Part One?

Go back and listen to from last week:

“Loving Someone Who’s Been Hurt: Navigating Relationships After Relational Trauma”