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Where Do I Start Grieving? - Surthrival 101
Surthrival 101
Keys to befriending grief, leaning into loss for healthy healing
Grieving is hard work, and for that reason many put it off. Unfortunately, the only way through grief is to face the darkness head-on. Surthrival principles help those dealing with loss begin their journey or assist them when they get stuck in the process. This is a list of the basic principles with definitions. There are episodes that correlate to the principles, but this quick list is a good start to this difficult journey. Take a step. The way is rocky, but these tools can help you navigate your way.
Feel the Feels
All humans feel – there’s no escaping feelings.
Feelings are natural – it’s what makes us human.
Feelings are neutral – neither good nor bad.
It is imperative to allow yourself to feel all emotions, though not all emotions feel pleasant. Failure to feel the feels will block your grief journey.
Identify/Label the Feels
Specifically labeling the exact feeling allows you to get in touch with where you are in your grief journey. This may require some soul-searching and use of a list of feelings, but the result is an examination that helps you understand yourself better.
Express the Feels
Appropriate expression of feelings allows you to deal with emotions in healthy ways. This looks different depending on what that emotion is (see Identify the Feels). Anger often requires a physical (even violent) act. Creative expression (drawing, singing, dancing, painting, poetry) is especially helpful, as it uses different parts of the brain, often bypassing the rational which allows for deeper healing.
Nature Heals
Taking a walk in nature is key to healing. It boosts your immune system, lowers cortisol levels, reduces blood pressure and promotes relaxation. Being surrounded by nature improves your mood, reducing anxiety and depression. It also alters brain activity in your prefrontal cortex, the part that regulates emotions.
Practice Gratitude
Counting your blessings is a healthy way to keep your emotional state balanced. It’s not a Pollyanna approach, but simply a practice of realizing that no matter how dire your circumstances or how deep your grief, you have things/people to be grateful for. Speaking or writing these shifts your perspective.
Reframe
The practice of looking at circumstances from a different perspective provides a way out of unhealthy thinking traps. Though the facts of what you’re going through don’t change, your thoughts about those unpleasant things can make it bearable.
Community
It is nearly impossible to heal alone. When you’re grieving, you need people to be present for you and with you. There are times you’ll desire to be alone with your grief; just don’t get stuck there. Time with others you trust reminds you that you are not alone, that you are loved. One of the best healing methods is to find a way to serve others.
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By Stacia Gaines
5
1313 ratings
Surthrival 101
Keys to befriending grief, leaning into loss for healthy healing
Grieving is hard work, and for that reason many put it off. Unfortunately, the only way through grief is to face the darkness head-on. Surthrival principles help those dealing with loss begin their journey or assist them when they get stuck in the process. This is a list of the basic principles with definitions. There are episodes that correlate to the principles, but this quick list is a good start to this difficult journey. Take a step. The way is rocky, but these tools can help you navigate your way.
Feel the Feels
All humans feel – there’s no escaping feelings.
Feelings are natural – it’s what makes us human.
Feelings are neutral – neither good nor bad.
It is imperative to allow yourself to feel all emotions, though not all emotions feel pleasant. Failure to feel the feels will block your grief journey.
Identify/Label the Feels
Specifically labeling the exact feeling allows you to get in touch with where you are in your grief journey. This may require some soul-searching and use of a list of feelings, but the result is an examination that helps you understand yourself better.
Express the Feels
Appropriate expression of feelings allows you to deal with emotions in healthy ways. This looks different depending on what that emotion is (see Identify the Feels). Anger often requires a physical (even violent) act. Creative expression (drawing, singing, dancing, painting, poetry) is especially helpful, as it uses different parts of the brain, often bypassing the rational which allows for deeper healing.
Nature Heals
Taking a walk in nature is key to healing. It boosts your immune system, lowers cortisol levels, reduces blood pressure and promotes relaxation. Being surrounded by nature improves your mood, reducing anxiety and depression. It also alters brain activity in your prefrontal cortex, the part that regulates emotions.
Practice Gratitude
Counting your blessings is a healthy way to keep your emotional state balanced. It’s not a Pollyanna approach, but simply a practice of realizing that no matter how dire your circumstances or how deep your grief, you have things/people to be grateful for. Speaking or writing these shifts your perspective.
Reframe
The practice of looking at circumstances from a different perspective provides a way out of unhealthy thinking traps. Though the facts of what you’re going through don’t change, your thoughts about those unpleasant things can make it bearable.
Community
It is nearly impossible to heal alone. When you’re grieving, you need people to be present for you and with you. There are times you’ll desire to be alone with your grief; just don’t get stuck there. Time with others you trust reminds you that you are not alone, that you are loved. One of the best healing methods is to find a way to serve others.