I have back and forth feelings of whether alcoholism is an actual disease like hepatitis or something. I guess at the end of the day it doesn't matter to me, doesn't change that my soul was sick. Emotionally distraught to the point it was affecting everything from my sleeping to my shitting to my relationships with Maggie and my cats. You that know me personally know my story.

Did you ever see Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield? It's from the mid 80s, light hearted, goofy, classic Dangerfield.

There's a scene where he's arguing with his professor about selling widgets. Dangerfield gets hung up on what exactly a widget is and the professor exasperated finally says...

It's a fictional product, it doesn't matter.

That's a powerful train of thought for me. Sometimes I can get hung up on wanting to debate a topic and often it's because I'm wanting to deflect looking at my own issues. I resist so I don't need to peer inward.

When I'm deflecting I need to remember to self-critique. Maybe there's something I'm avoiding. And if so, the debate "doesn't matter."

It's weird how I remember these lines from movies and they graft themselves into, make up part of my spiritual being. 😉

Anyways. Is alcoholism a true medical disease? I don't care. What I do care about, what does matter is that I can't drink responsibly. I drink irresponsibly to the point of excess. I get frantic when I don't drink. It becomes the only thing I care about. Above all else. That's what does matter.

Also, as a last thing. I do think it's a proper medical illness. The way alcoholics are utterly consumed by the cravings and will drink to literal death, well that's just not a lack of willpower.

#alcoholism #healthnews #protip #diariespodcast

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