Continuing with his series tackling narcissism and its effect on modern relationships, John asks who are the people that are drawn to a narcissistic personality? What is displayed by narcissists that draws a potential partner in, why are they not immediately visible as a narcissist and what sort of personality do narcissists target?

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• A narcissist will offer generosity and kindness to draw a person in only to withdraw it later, returning to it if they sense their target pulling away.  
• If you are not in a good place when you meet them a narcissist will target you in the role of rescuer or saviour. 
• An emotionally healthy individual is perceived as a threat by a narcissist to their sense of self resulting in them fault finding or fault creating to cement their sense of superiority.
• Narcissists create a trauma bond with their victims by alternating idolising one moment and devaluing the next. 
• To regain a lost relationship a narcissist will revert to old behaviours, offer previously refused gifts or become temporarily emotionally present.

BEST MOMENTS

‘Thinking that a narcissist actually cares about them because of the good moments, these good moments are, however, false and manipulative and the mask of these will drop more and more frequently.’ 

‘Initially, a truly kind and open-hearted person can be appealing to a narcissist as they think they can get them on their side to be able to use them for their own needs. As time moves on, however, the narcissist realises that they are genuinely nicer and better than they are and this threatens their sense of self.’

‘As time goes on they lose their sense of self, feel inadequate and become dependent on the feedback they receive from the narcissist.’

‘if you had a parent that you wanted to please and accepted a level of behaviour that made you feel you didn’t deserve much more you are more susceptible to the narcissist.’ 

 VALUABLE RESOURCES

Link to previous episode - What is Narcissism? - The Relationship Guy - Omny.fm

links:

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The Bicycle Affect: 

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The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, Award Winning Relationship Coach.

Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships. Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

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