Big Think

Who decides what is socially “normal”? | Christine Emba


Listen Later

**🧭 Who Decides What’s “Normal” Anymore? Rethinking Social Norms in a Shifting World**

Why do we follow social norms — and how do we know when they’ve expired?

Social norms act as **shortcuts**, like a guidebook for fitting into your time and place. They offer structure, a sense of belonging, and even emotional rewards like pride or guilt. They help us function — not just because we believe in them, but because *everyone else* does too.

But today, the old rules feel... Wobbly.

From door-opening etiquette to gender roles, many norms seem out of place in a rapidly changing world. So how do we decide what to keep — and what to toss?

💡 Enter *Chesterton’s Fence* — a concept that says: **before tearing down a fence, find out why it was put there.**

Even if a social norm feels outdated, it might have served a purpose worth understanding before dismissing it outright.

Take the example: *Should men open doors for women?*

It may feel old-fashioned now, but originally, it might’ve symbolized respect or protection. The key is asking: **Does it still serve a helpful function today? Or has the context changed too much?**

In the past, people looked to parents, clergy, or state leaders for guidance.

Now? We turn to **influencers**, coaches, and self-described gurus on everything from success to masculinity. But here’s the catch: **self-proclaimed experts might not be experts at all.**

And that raises a new question:

🌍 **Are today’s norms built for *you* — or are they just viral advice designed to sell?**

Norms should be adaptive — customized to the community, time, and individual. What works for a niche internet following may not work in your real life.

**3 key takeaways:**

1. 🧠 *Don’t discard old norms blindly.* First, ask what purpose they served.

2. 🧍‍♂️ *Be wary of self-appointed experts.* Charisma doesn’t equal wisdom.

3. 🌐 *Seek context over consensus.* Norms should flex with culture, not freeze in time.

**✨ Big idea:** Social norms aren't just rules — they’re cultural technology. If we want to upgrade them, we need to understand the code they were written in.

About Christine Emba:

Christine Emba is an opinion columnist and editor at The Washington Post, where she focuses on ideas, society, and culture. She is also a contributing editor at Comment Magazine and an editor at large at Wisdom of Crowds, which includes a podcast and newsletter. Before this, Emba was the Hilton Kramer Fellow in Criticism at The New Criterion and a deputy editor at the Economist Intelligence Unit, focusing on technology and innovation. Her book, Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, is about the failures and potential of the sexual revolution in a post-#MeToo world. Emba was named one of the World’s Top 50 Thinkers by Prospect Magazine in 2022.

------

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Big ThinkBy bigthink

  • 2.4
  • 2.4
  • 2.4
  • 2.4
  • 2.4

2.4

10 ratings


More shows like Big Think

View all
Making Sense with Sam Harris by Sam Harris

Making Sense with Sam Harris

26,469 Listeners

Uncomfortable Conversations with Josh Szeps by Josh Szeps

Uncomfortable Conversations with Josh Szeps

837 Listeners

Into the Impossible With Brian Keating by Big Bang Productions Inc.

Into the Impossible With Brian Keating

1,049 Listeners

The Michael Shermer Show by Michael Shermer

The Michael Shermer Show

916 Listeners

Sean Carroll's Mindscape: Science, Society, Philosophy, Culture, Arts, and Ideas by Sean Carroll | Wondery

Sean Carroll's Mindscape: Science, Society, Philosophy, Culture, Arts, and Ideas

4,142 Listeners

Quillette Podcast by Quillette

Quillette Podcast

806 Listeners

Within Reason by Alex J O'Connor

Within Reason

1,547 Listeners

The Origins Podcast with Lawrence Krauss by Lawrence M. Krauss

The Origins Podcast with Lawrence Krauss

488 Listeners

The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway by Vox Media Podcast Network

The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway

5,414 Listeners

Theories of Everything with Curt Jaimungal by Theories of Everything

Theories of Everything with Curt Jaimungal

470 Listeners

UnHerd with Freddie Sayers by UnHerd

UnHerd with Freddie Sayers

225 Listeners

Honestly with Bari Weiss by The Free Press

Honestly with Bari Weiss

8,721 Listeners

The Poetry of Reality with Richard Dawkins by Richard Dawkins

The Poetry of Reality with Richard Dawkins

81 Listeners

Conversations With Coleman by The Free Press

Conversations With Coleman

371 Listeners

The Moynihan Report by 2WAY

The Moynihan Report

115 Listeners