For months now, the horror community has been abuzz about The Lighthouse. (Review at 36:34) The sophomore effort from Robert Eggers (director of The Witch) stars Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson, and it has a lighthouse; not much else is known. The trailers for The Lighthouse didn't do much to show what the film is actually about, leaving most viewers heading into their viewings without any clue what they were in for.

Fear not, my little nerds, for we are here to be your light in the darkness and guide you safely through these turbulent waters. Hark as we bellow out our opinions, not just to hear ourselves talk, but to lead you to cinematic safety. Was one of the most highly anticipated films of the year smooth sailing or were our hopes dashed upon the jagged rocks of disappointment? Come find out.

Just concentrate on how good it feels to be causing someone pain. That's the best thing you can do for a true masochist! Well, that and making them listen to the Who Goes There Podcast e...