Who We Become - Life Beyond Change

The therapy, the mindset work, the journaling, the reading — all of it useful, and still the body stays braced and the same dynamic keeps showing up in different clothes. Brittany Schembra works underneath that: in the nervous system and the subconscious, where the body stores what the conscious mind hasn't been able to process. She calls it "spirituality without the woo" — and she came to it through her own healing.

In this episode, Brittany joins Amanda Lentz to talk about the losses that broke her open, the moment she realized everything she'd chased to "fix" herself had left her depleted, and the turn that changed everything. A former educator and software engineer who thinks of intuition as "another coding language," she blends neuroscience, subconscious reprogramming, and energy work to help women rewrite the patterns running their lives from the inside out. Along the way: why the body remembers what the mind won't say, why your ego will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven, and how to actually start recognizing a pattern in your own life.

If you've done the surface work and something still hasn't moved, this conversation is for you — it's not that you're unfixable. It's that the work needs to go somewhere the talking hasn't reached yet.

There is a space in human experience that almost never gets named.Not the crisis.Not the breaking point.Not the moment everything is visibly falling apart.

It’s the space after — the one where life has technically moved on, but internally something hasn’t. The space where you’re functioning, where you look fine, where you’re doing everything you’re supposed to do… but you’re exhausted in a way that’s hard to explain. You’re running patterns you can’t seem to switch off. You’re quietly convinced that this is just who you are now.

My guest today works exactly in that space.

In this episode of Who We Become — Life Beyond Change, Amanda Lentz sits down with Matt Bright, a clinical hypnotherapist and strategic psychotherapist based in Australia who specializes in helping people whose systems adapted to survive something difficult — and never got the signal that it was over. Matt describes the clients who find their way to him: high‑functioning, capable, responsible people who are parenting, working, showing up, and taking care of everyone else… while internally living in a state of constant activation. “Eventually something really important happens — they stop calling it a pattern and start calling it their personality.”

Amanda and Matt explore the territory of post‑survival — the nervous system that keeps bracing long after the danger has passed, the emotional imprint that becomes familiar enough to feel like identity, and the exhaustion that comes from living in a state of perpetual anticipation. Matt explains why people begin to believe “I’m just an anxious person,” and why that belief is almost never true. “You’re not born anxious. It’s a pattern you learned — and what’s learned can be unlearned.”

They talk about the difference between traditional talk therapy and the work Matt does, which focuses less on why something happened and more on how the pattern operates now. Matt explains what hypnotherapy actually is — not mind control, not movie tropes, but a relaxed, permissive state where the subconscious becomes accessible and change becomes possible. He describes the moment clients realize their patterns are not proof of who they are, but evidence of how their system adapted. “The system learned to survive — it just never learned how to stand down.”

This conversation is about identity, nervous system regulation, subconscious learning, and the quiet suffering so many people carry alone. Matt shares how patterns can be interrupted, how the body can be retrained, and how people can reclaim agency over reactions that once felt automatic. He talks about the “aha” moment when clients can no longer access the emotional state they arrived in — the moment their system has truly updated.

This episode is for anyone who feels stuck in a version of themselves they didn’t choose, anyone who is functioning but not OK, anyone who is tired of feeling like their patterns define them, and anyone who needs the reminder that exhaustion is not a personality — it’s a signal.

Matt’s work offers something more useful than reassurance: the understanding that you are not broken. You are not defined by what happened to you. And you can learn to stand down.

Matt’s work brings language to the space most people are living in but rarely talk about — the part after survival, where the system is still braced for danger that isn’t there. His insights offer a path toward updating patterns that once felt permanent.

If you’re functioning but exhausted, convinced your patterns are your personality, or longing to feel like yourself again, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a way forward. Subscribe for weekly conversations on identity, reinvention, and becoming.

A mother and a daughter — and a story that began long before either of them ever heard the word "diagnosis."

It started with a loss: Linda Zoldak lost her only child. Then, an ocean away, a beginning — a 22-month-old named Tamara, adopted from Bulgaria into Linda's arms. Decades later, Linda was diagnosed with primary progressive multiple sclerosis, and Tamara — a paramedic living with her own fibromyalgia — stepped into caregiving. Two women, two chronic illnesses, one shared refusal to let those labels become the whole story.

In this episode, Amanda Lentz talks with Linda and Tamara Zoldak — mother, daughter, and co-authors of We Are Not Our Diagnosis: Life Beyond Multiple Sclerosis and Fibromyalgia — with both of their voices in the room. They talk about grief and starting over, the family that began across an ocean, living as both patient and caregiver, and why they wrote a book together as "a home for the uncertainty."

For anyone living with chronic illness, caregiving for someone they love, or learning to hold a hard label without letting it become who they are.

Linda & Tamara's book:

- We Are Not Our Diagnosis: Life Beyond Multiple Sclerosis and Fibromyalgia

Who We Become — Life Beyond Change, hosted by Amanda Lentz. New episodes weekly on identity, reinvention, resilience, and navigating life's transitions. amandalentz.com

Shared as their personal story, not medical advice.

Today's conversation explores what it means to become a mother without the one person you always expected to guide you through it. My guest, Laura Todd - licensed clinical counselor, perinatal mental health specialist, and founder of Early Bond Therapy - shares her powerful story of losing her mother to breast cancer in 2015 and then becoming a mother herself six years later, during COVID, in isolation, without the support she had imagined.

Laura opens up about the shock of her mother's rapid decline, the emotional imprint of grief, and the way loss resurfaced when she entered postpartum life. She talks about anxiety, sleep deprivation, maternal anger, and the quiet ache of navigating milestones her other will never witness. We explore the patterns that form in survival mode, the nervous system's difficulty standing down, and the identify shift that happens when motherhood and grief collide.

Laura also shares the work she now does with women in similar spaces - helping new mothers understand their emotional patterns, regulate their nervous systems, and build support even when their village looks different than they expected.

This episode is for anyone grieving a parent, anyone navigating postpartum challenges, and anyone trying to understand the layered experience of becoming a mother while still missing one. Laura's story is a reminder that grief and joy can coexist - and that becoming isn't about erasing what happened, but learning how to live with it.

They Said He'd Hire a Man. She Told Him He'd Hire Her Instead.

Dr. Kasi Lacey moved out on her own at 16. School was her safe place, so she chased stability the only way she knew how — through her grades, her degrees, and fifteen years climbing higher education all the way to a president's cabinet. She had the title, the influence, the seat at the table. And then she named the environment for what it was: an abusive relationship.

In this episode, Dr. Lacey joins Amanda Lentz for an honest conversation about high achievement as survival, the imposter syndrome that almost cost her the job she was born for, and what it actually takes to walk away from an identity you built your whole life on. A psychologist who had to become her own patient before she could do her best work, Dr. Lacey shares how she rebuilt — losing the golden handcuffs, finding her voice, and creating the confident, purpose-led life she wants her two daughters to grow up watching.

If you're a high achiever who's ever quieted your own inner voice to keep the peace, this one's for you. Your worth was never up for a vote.

Dr. Lacey is a psychologist, keynote speaker, executive confidence coach, and author of Your Confidence Comeback. Find her at kasilacey.com and get the book at yourconfidencecomeback.com.

🎧 Who We Become — Life Beyond Change. Keep becoming who you're meant to be.

For years, the labs kept coming back "normal" — while Ashley lived in a body that felt anything but. 35 pounds of unexplained weight gain, joint pain, brain fog, crippling fatigue, and a changing voice. Doctor after doctor sent her home. Then she stopped waiting for someone else to figure it out.

In this episode of Who We Become — Life Beyond Change, Amanda Lentz sits down with Ashley Cruz Arata — integrative hormone health specialist and founder of Ashley Cruz Arata Wellness — about what the standard medical system so often misses for women, and what it actually takes to heal.

After a partial thyroidectomy that left her feeling worse instead of better, Ashley went deeper than the standard labs, became a certified integrative health practitioner, resolved her symptoms, and lost the 35 pounds — all while working 50-hour weeks, traveling, and grieving two profound losses. Then she built the practice she wishes she'd had.

In this conversation, we explore:

- Why "your labs are normal" doesn't mean nothing is wrong

- How repeated dismissal quietly erodes a woman's self-trust

- The 3 buckets of hormones — thyroid, sex, and stress — and how they work together

- Why the standard TSH test can miss most of the picture

- Root-cause vs. symptom management: what functional testing looks for

- "Ones and twos equal tens" — how small changes add up, even when life is lifing

If you're a woman who's been told your labs are normal while living in a body that doesn't feel normal, this conversation offers both language and permission. You're not making it up. You're not too sensitive. Your symptoms are real.

— Connect with Ashley —

🌐 ashleycruzarata.com (Cruz with a Z)

📸 Instagram: @ashleycruzarata

📄 Free Essential Hormone Lab Guide — linked in the episode show notes

— Who We Become — Life Beyond Change —

Hosted by Amanda Lentz

🌐 amandalentz.com

▶️ Subscribe: youtube.com/@lifebeyondchange

New conversations weekly on identity, reinvention, resilience, and navigating life's transitions.

This content is for educational purposes and is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified provider about your own health.

#WhoWeBecome #LifeBeyondChange #HormoneHealth #ThyroidHealth #FunctionalMedicine #WomensHealth #SelfAdvocacy #IntegrativeHealth #HealingJourney

Today’s conversation explores love in its hardest and most human form — the kind that asks everything of you. My guest, Cindy Mich, shares the story of loving her partner Michael through stage‑4 lymphoma, becoming his caregiver, advocate, and constant presence, and then navigating the grief and identity shift that followed his passing.

Cindy opens up about the beginning of their relationship, the long‑distance years, and the moment she realized something was wrong. She talks about the emotional and physical toll of caregiving during COVID, the guilt she carried, and the shock of becoming a widow overnight. We explore the loneliness of losing a partner, the pressure to “move on,” and the truth that grief doesn’t end — it evolves.

This episode is for anyone loving someone through illness, anyone grieving a partner, and anyone trying to rebuild a life that was meant to be lived together. Cindy’s story is a powerful reminder that devotion leaves an imprint, that grief is not a failure of strength, and that love continues in the ways we choose to honor it.

Most of us understand grief as something that arrives after a loss. But there is another kind — quieter, lonelier, harder to name — the grief that lives in the waiting. The grief that comes from loving someone whose life is at risk, from waking up every day afraid of the phone ringing, from holding your breath through ordinary moments because you don’t know what’s coming. “Grief that has no name because the loss hasn’t happened yet.”

My guest today knows both kinds.

In this episode of Who We Become — Life Beyond Change, Amanda Lentz sits down with Wesley Cullen Davidson, a writer, grief advocate, and mother who walked alongside her son Graham through years of addiction — years spent in that unnamed in‑between space before the call finally came. Wesley shares Graham’s story with tenderness and clarity: “He was very funny, witty… very good looking,” adopted at five months old, navigating identity, trauma, and the challenges of growing up gay in the 1990s. She describes the long arc of his struggle, the periods of sobriety, the relapses, and the heart attack that took his life at 33.

Amanda and Wesley explore the emotional reality of anticipatory grief — the fear that lives underneath every day when you love someone battling addiction. “You could get a call in the middle of the night… and when that call comes in, you expect that it could be death.” Wesley describes sleeping with her wallet under her pillow, hiding car keys, staying one step ahead, and trying to protect her family while still loving her son fiercely.

They talk about the complexity of parenting through addiction, the guilt parents carry, the strain on siblings, and the impossible balance between protecting your child and protecting yourself. Wesley shares the truth about treatment — the limitations of 28‑day rehabs, the financial burden, the revolving door of hope and heartbreak. She speaks openly about the shame she once felt, the silence she kept, and the stigma that still surrounds addiction. “If my son had cancer, it would be discussed… but because it’s drugs, people don’t know what to say.”

This conversation also explores grief after loss — the shock, the quiet, the loneliness that follows the initial wave of condolences. Wesley describes how support fades quickly, how people avoid mentioning Graham’s name, and how painful that silence can be. “By not talking about your child, you’re not keeping them alive.” She shares how she keeps Graham present through stories, therapy, writing, and advocacy — transforming her experience into language that helps others name what they’re carrying.

Amanda and Wesley talk about the long, nonlinear nature of grief — how it becomes something you incorporate into your life rather than something you “get over.” They explore the moments of peace that coexist with pain, the jealousy that arises when seeing intact families, and the hope that someday “the love will outdo the pain.”

This episode is for anyone loving someone in the in‑between, anyone grieving a loss that has already happened, and anyone trying to understand the emotional terrain of addiction. It is for parents who feel alone, for families navigating stigma, and for anyone who needs permission to keep talking about the person they lost.

Wesley’s story is a reminder that grief is not a stage — it’s a relationship. One that changes, but doesn’t end.

Wesley’s story expands the conversation around grief by naming the kind that happens before loss — and by showing how love, advocacy, and honesty can keep a child’s memory alive long after.

If you’re loving someone in the in‑between or grieving someone you’ve lost, this episode offers language, companionship, and a reminder that forward is enough. Subscribe for weekly conversations on identity, reinvention, and becoming.

Thisconversation is about what happens when the life that looks perfect on paper quietly stops feeling like your own — and what it takes to finally tell the truth.

Jen Rulon spent years being “the woman who had it all together”: fifteen Ironman triathlons, a master’s degree, published books, a thriving coaching business, a marriage that looked solid from the outside. But underneath the achievement, she was disappearing. Getting sober in 2019 became the first honest thing she’d done in years — and the beginning of a complete reinvention.

By December 2021, Jen ended her marriage, packed one bag, and moved to Costa Rica at 51 with no plan beyond: tell the truth and see what’s still standing. Today she’s a midlife reinvention coach, author, and the writer of Where the Morpho Stands, a memoir for every woman who has ever been very good at whispering.

In this episode, Jen shares what it took to stop performing, start listening to her gut, and build a life she actually chose. We talk about sobriety, identity, midlife transformation, trusting yourself even when others don’t understand, and the courage required to become the woman you were always meant to be.

Some stories begin long before the breaking point. For Brent LeGrave, the story starts in Malone, New York — a small town where fentanyl doesn’t make national headlines, but it quietly dismantles families one at a time. He was born deaf, pigeon‑toed, and “always the last one picked” . He grew up believing he wasn’t enough, until bowling gave him his first glimpse of confidence — “you can only do one frame at a time… you’re living for today, not tomorrow” . That lesson would become a lifeline decades later.

Before fentanyl, Brent had personas he loved — including The Dead Man, the demolition derby driver whose skull mask drew applause louder than his own name. But beneath the persona was a boy who learned to survive by pushing through pain, by performing strength, by never letting anyone see how much he hurt.

In this episode of Who We Become — Life Beyond Change, Amanda Lentz sits down with Brent to explore addiction, identity, legacy, and the brutal honesty required to rebuild a life from the ground up. Brent shares how fentanyl entered his life after a devastating derby injury left him with spinal stenosis and degenerative bone disease. When his prescribed pain medication was cut off, he turned to fentanyl patches — “I’d cut strips and chew on them… just so I could even move” .

But he wasn’t chasing a high. He was “chasing quiet” — trying to silence the voices, the pain, the chaos inside his own mind. He describes the transformation fentanyl forces on a person, the “pause” where users slip out of consciousness without realizing it, and the agony of withdrawal that feels like the flu multiplied by ten. He talks about the fights, the scars, the moments he didn’t recognize himself or the woman he loved.

And then he shares the moment everything broke: calling his mother while crying silently on the other end of the line, unable to say the words I need help. “I was crying so hard… but I didn’t want her to know” . It was the moment he knew he had gone past the point he ever imagined.

Brent speaks openly about the devastation addiction brings to the people around you — especially his boys. “My kids… all of this is for them” . He refuses to let his legacy be only the damage. He wants his sons to say: Yeah, my dad was a drug addict — but look what he did with the rest of his life.

And that’s where Bulletproof begins.

After two weeks of screaming into the darkness, begging God to take him, Brent picked up his son’s laptop. “I hate reading and writing… but I learned in two and a half years of self‑isolation” . He wrote the truth down — not for publication, but for the three people who deserved to know where he’d been. The result is a raw, unfiltered reckoning: addiction, survival, love, loss, and the long climb back.

He talks about the Great Army — the people who have “been in the driver’s seat on their way to hell” and lived to tell the story. He shares the meaning behind the numbers 86, 89, and 94, and the extraordinary thread of connection with his grandfather, who he believes still guides him. “He’s always been with me… he’s been my best friend” .

Brent is already writing Bulletproof II, exploring the spiritual, ancestral, and emotional layers the first book couldn’t hold — including the moment his girlfriend overdosed and came back with a message that changed everything.

This episode is for anyone navigating addiction, loving someone who is in it, or trying to understand what fentanyl really does to a person. It’s for people who need a reminder that survival is not the same as recovery — and that sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is write the letter you’re afraid to send.

Brent’s story is a testament to the truth that you are not the story they told about you. You can still write a different ending.