Yooo, you may wanna take a nice and comfortable seat. We got the Fortune 500 trivial sweepstakes on the plate. Billy McFarland, Steven Seagal, Shia LeBeouf, and Ronnie from Jersey Shore have all approached you with some absurd investors. You get majority stake, but gotta deal with one of those cats. Craig chimes in for some boudin literature as well. Joe's stoned or something, calls in 30 minutes late.

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