It was no trick of the light, the statue had moved. The great scratching sound of a large rock grinding against its twin, reverberated across the ancient expanse of space as the statue tilted it’s twenty meter tall head downward to look upon Cait Raft —the infamous tomb raider. At the motion Cait’s hands reflexively dipped toward her guns holstered on her hip, but they froze disobediently as the great stone statue spoke in a rumbling bass reminiscent of a rockslide. “Do not be a foolish child.” Said the statue “Do not bring arms to a battle you cannot win...” Cait knew better than to argue with an ancient guardian statue so she relaxed her arms. “I am the third and final guardian of this place.” The statue continued, “ As was true with my siblings so too shall be true of me. Pass my test and you shall be granted access to treasure everlasting. Do you accept?”

“What happens if I fail?” asked Cait.

“Child...” replied the statue “I see through to your true heart and ask this of you: does it matter?”

“I...I accept.” Said Cait. “Good...” said the statue, “then step forward.” Cait took several steps closer toward the statue and the giant stone gate that it guarded. In an instant she was swept up into the air and held there by some invisible force. She didn’t have time to register any shock or surprise as she was then bombarded by a series of fleeting images —snatches of feeling and understanding. Her psyche fought hard against this stream of sense, only to realize once the fighting began that it was in her best interest to let go and be carried away by the current rather than risk being torn to shreds by the sheer force of the psychic onslaught. After Cait let go in her mind, she eventually found herself washed ashore in the courtyard of a memory that was not her own. The courtyard she found herself in was inside a tacky $36.5 million dollar mansion, and it was in the subsequent exploration of this courtyard that Cait came face-to-face with what was perhaps the ugliest infinity pool that she had ever seen. The pool was so offensive in fact, that she couldn’t hold herself back from vomiting —several times— around the deck area. Some time passed but Cait didn’t know how much: Days, weeks —months in the end it didn’t matter, because at some point during her stay, the now distant sound of the statue's rumbling tone returned to her and said, “I have shown you the pool and you have gazed upon it..” Suddenly the large gate that the statue had been guarding appeared as disembodied and floating above the infinity pool. “Behind this gate lies what you seek...” Said the statue’s far-off voice, “but be warned...Only the un-pressed of heart may throw open its gates..”

Topics discussed on today’s episode include: Why Are You So Pressed? Mask Off Rowling, and Kente Cloth Dems!

Show originally aired June 8th 2020 — Vod Link: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/644846694