The BIG Life

Why Being Capable Is Starting to Cost You


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Being capable is often praised. It builds trust, opens doors, and creates momentum. But over time, that same capability can quietly become a burden—one that limits clarity, drains energy, and reduces choice.

In this episode of The Big Life, Neal Oates Jr. and Robin Lewis explore the unseen cost of being the dependable one. The one others rely on. The one who can always handle more.

This conversation is not about burnout or failure. It’s about awareness. It’s about recognizing when capability has gone unexamined and begun to shape your life by default rather than by design.

  • How capability shifts from a strength to an expectation

  • Why capable people often carry more than they intend to

  • The quiet erosion of choice, clarity, and thinking space

  • The emotional weight of being seen as “the strong one”

  • How overextension often shows up as restlessness, not exhaustion

  • Why leadership maturity requires containment, not more effort

  • Questions that restore agency without guilt or drastic change

  • What am I carrying because it truly aligns with my values and purpose?

  • What am I carrying simply because it was never questioned?

  • Where has “I can” quietly replaced “I should”?

  • You’re successful but feel stretched in ways rest doesn’t fix

  • You’re often the one others rely on and rarely the one checked on

  • You want clarity, not more pressure

  • You’re building something meaningful and want it to be sustainable

We’re grateful you spent this time with us. If this episode resonated, let it sit with you. Awareness is often the first step toward freedom.

Remember that we love you, God loves you, and there's nothing you can do about it. And until the next time we see you, or you see us, We're right there with you.

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The BIG LifeBy Neal Oates Jr. - Robin Lewis