I spent most of my 30s in a relationship with someone wildly unreliable. Someone who made promises every Sunday and broke them by Wednesday. That person was me. And the worst part wasn’t the failing, it was how I spoke to myself afterwards. In this episode, I’m breaking down why self-criticism keeps you stuck, what the research actually says about shame and habit change, and the two-part approach that finally worked for me.

In this episode:

* The Sunday-to-Wednesday promise cycle (and why I lived there for years)

* What actually happens in your brain when you beat yourself up

* Why dieters who practise self-compassion recover faster from slips

* The “start fresh Monday” trap and what’s really going on

* Why compassion doesn’t make you soft, it makes you resilient

* Self-compassion plus environment design: the combination that works

Your experiment for this week: Pick one tiny promise to keep to yourself this week. A glass of water before coffee. A ten-minute walk. Lights out by 11. When you break it (because you will), notice what you say to yourself. Replace “for f**k’s sake” with “OK, what happened? What do we try differently?” Then make it stupidly easy: put the glass by the kettle, lay out the shoes, set the alarm. Self-compassion plus environment design.

“I spent years at war with myself. Trying to punish and discipline and shame my way into being someone I liked. It never worked. What worked was becoming someone I could trust.”

If this one resonated, share it with someone who’s been stuck in the self-criticism spiral. They’re not lazy. They’re not broken. They just need a different approach.

Tell me: what’s the one small promise you’re keeping this week?

I genuinely want to know 💛

Noemie X

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.unwrittenpotential.com