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Why Can't Black Women Get Along
"What about your friends? Will they stand their ground?Will they let you down again What about your friends? Are they gonna be low down? Will they ever be around?Or will they turn their backs on you" - TLC "What About Your Friends" 1992
We all have heard a woman say "I don't like hanging with women because they are messy!" Maybe we have even said it ourselves. Although this isn't true for every woman, we have to admit; women can be messy and clique-ish. Walking into a room full of black women is like walking out to an auction block to be examined to see if you are worthy of being inducted to the clique.
Be pretty, but not too pretty. Be cool, but not too cool. Be funny, but not too funny, Be smart, but not too smart. Be sporty, but not too sporty. Be sexy, but not too sexy. Wear makeup, but not too much. Don't curse too much or you're not lady like. Don't be too sexually liberated...the list of do's and don't go on, and we are all guilty. We act as if the constant criticism from men isn't enough, so criticize our sisters by the same standards only harsher. We all know how tiring it is to try to measure up to someone else stupid standards, yet we still hold other women to them.
By being over critical, we rob ourselves of having genuine friendships and often settle for relationships as empty as our friendships. Why? Because, a woman who is too much of anything can feel a threat, especially if we think that we don't measure up. So we project our insecurities onto her instead of telling our ego "YOU ARE ENOUGH!" A woman who owns her flaws is confident, exposes our lack of self-confidence. The key is to remember; you are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are all too something, and you just have to find yours you may be, too fearless, too kind, too happy, too encouraging, too loving, too bold, too beautiful. Whatever you too, own it. You have to dim another woman's light to shine brightly; we can all light up the world together
Join us as we discuss friendships among black women
Show Topics:
Why do women struggle in friendships?
Staying in unhealthy friendships
Making friends.
What roles should friends play?
View all episodes
By Ashley Autumn & Ashley Monae"What about your friends? Will they stand their ground?Will they let you down again What about your friends? Are they gonna be low down? Will they ever be around?Or will they turn their backs on you" - TLC "What About Your Friends" 1992
We all have heard a woman say "I don't like hanging with women because they are messy!" Maybe we have even said it ourselves. Although this isn't true for every woman, we have to admit; women can be messy and clique-ish. Walking into a room full of black women is like walking out to an auction block to be examined to see if you are worthy of being inducted to the clique.
Be pretty, but not too pretty. Be cool, but not too cool. Be funny, but not too funny, Be smart, but not too smart. Be sporty, but not too sporty. Be sexy, but not too sexy. Wear makeup, but not too much. Don't curse too much or you're not lady like. Don't be too sexually liberated...the list of do's and don't go on, and we are all guilty. We act as if the constant criticism from men isn't enough, so criticize our sisters by the same standards only harsher. We all know how tiring it is to try to measure up to someone else stupid standards, yet we still hold other women to them.
By being over critical, we rob ourselves of having genuine friendships and often settle for relationships as empty as our friendships. Why? Because, a woman who is too much of anything can feel a threat, especially if we think that we don't measure up. So we project our insecurities onto her instead of telling our ego "YOU ARE ENOUGH!" A woman who owns her flaws is confident, exposes our lack of self-confidence. The key is to remember; you are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are all too something, and you just have to find yours you may be, too fearless, too kind, too happy, too encouraging, too loving, too bold, too beautiful. Whatever you too, own it. You have to dim another woman's light to shine brightly; we can all light up the world together
Join us as we discuss friendships among black women
Show Topics:
Why do women struggle in friendships?
Staying in unhealthy friendships
Making friends.
What roles should friends play?