If you’ve ever thought, “I wasn’t attacking him… so why did he react like that?”—this episode is for you. For years, I missed the signs in my own marriage. And so did the women I now work with. We thought we were dealing with communication problems, personality differences, or stress. But underneath the defensiveness, the distance, and the constant feeling of walking on eggshells, something deeper was quietly shaping the relationship.

In this episode, I share 7 signs my clients and I missed that indicated trauma may have been behind the issues we were facing. Not the obvious signs—these are the subtle patterns that slowly wear you down and leave you questioning yourself. We’ll talk about why trauma doesn’t stay in the past, how it shows up in everyday interactions, and why trying harder often leads to more exhaustion instead of connection. This isn’t about blame or diagnosis. It’s about naming what’s really happening so you can stop carrying all the weight alone and begin moving forward with clarity, compassion, and hope.

Watch full clip: Why Does He Get So Defensive Over Small Things?