The Science Baby Podcast

Why Having A Child Has Ruined Your Relationship

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Okay, maybe not everyone's relationship with their loved one is in the pan after having a child, but anecdotally and statistically, many parents find themselves facing relationship challenges with a little one in the mix. 

Leila and Kim are no exceptions, and we share a very cathartic chat about how and why our marriages have changed, and what we can do about it. 

In this episode:

  • We set the scene by describing our relationship foundations before having kids
  • We compare notes on how our relationships have changed since having kids
  • We take a look at the statistics of relationship degeneration after having children, including results from the Science Baby Parenting Survey
  • We examine the reasons behind the changes, including a loss of protective relationship behaviours, an unequal division of the mental load, and the snowballing effect of maternal gatekeeping
  • We describe how our loss of personal identities contributes to our dissatisfaction at this stage of life
  • We discuss a study that suggests that marital unhappiness could just be a product of western society 
  • Finally, we talk about some of the tools and techniques for dealing with relationship issues. 

    • I'm a big fan of Philippa Perry's book "The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did)", which you can buy here. 

    ...more
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    The Science Baby PodcastBy Leila Battison