And this time we actually mean it! There is minimal sarcasm in this episode as we, your hosts, with the help of you, the listeners, sell everyone else on why having kids is so wonderful. If you’re on the fence, we hope this episode gets you off the fence and over to our side of the yard. We got more fun toys over here anyway…

Introduction:

• Sponsored by Mariah Carey's unofficial holiday anthem and the real MVP of December.
• Diving into the most wonderful time of the year: the holidays and parenting.

Segment 1: The Comedy of Parenting Origins

• Origin story: the podcast's birth from a mission to counter the unintentional birth control narratives.
• An encounter with a neighbor reinforcing the societal skepticism around parenting.

Segment 2: Parental Wonders According to Listeners

1. Watching Cartoons Sans Judgment:
   • Escaping the adult judgment zone by diving into kids' movies.
   • Because who doesn't want to know every word to every Descendants song?
2. Unexpected Collections:
   • The unintentional joy of collecting rocks, buttons, and rubber bands.
   • An unintentional "collector" title passed down from the in-laws – who knew?
3. Handy Diapers and Wipes:
   • The eternal love affair with wipes, the superheroes of cleaning.
   • DM for a damp wipe package from Santa – the unsung hero of cleanliness.
4. Perfect Excuses:
   • Mastering the art of using kids as the ultimate excuses.
   • Late nights? Sorry, gotta put the kids to bed! Sick kid? Instant pass on everything – no questions asked.

Segment 3: Creating Holiday Magic and Other Laughs

• Becoming holiday magicians, adding it to the resume ASAP.
• Selling points for having kids, including driving the minivan yacht and exploring uncharted territories in stores.

Segment 4: Unwritten Perks and Quirky Submissions

• The unspoken perks of having kids – jumping lines, free ice cream, and discounts at the barber.
• Listener submissions: avoiding jobs, not feeling the pressure to be rich, and the deep realization that kids help us become our best selves. Deep, right?

Segment 5: Serious Moments and Real Parenting Perks (But Still Funny)

• Acknowledging serious perks with a humorous twist.
• Kids' motivating energy levels – the driving force for staying fit (and playing at the playground).
• A built-in audience for jokes, even when they don't land. Because someone's gotta laugh.
• The hilarious world of misused words and phrases by kids – a language only parents understand.
• Embracing the forgiveness of children – even for dinner disasters that aren't just burning food.

Conclusion:

• Celebrating the absurdly wonderful aspects of parenting beyond the chaos.
• Urging a shift in focus from the challenges to the countless ridiculous perks.
• Wishing listeners a holiday season filled with unexpected laughs and parenting triumphs.

Note:

• Episode maintains a humorous and playful tone, emphasizing the comedic side of parenting and encouraging listeners to share their own laugh-out-loud moments.