Why I Almost Quit

Show Notes/Transcript at https://allisoncrow.com/blbw49/

Today I want to tell you a story, and from this story I want you to think about yourself. From all my stories I want you to think about yourself, of course. This is a story of self-sabotage and resistance, and I didn’t even realize it. As I tell you this story, I want you to think about the ways that resistance subtly shows up for you, and want you to think about your specific symptoms of resistance. With that, here’s a little story that happened recently, and what I love, let me go ahead and tell you the happy ending. The happy ending is that I caught it before I destroyed it. I almost destroyed it.

My name is Allison Crow, and I’m a creator. What that means is that I get off on creating, and sometimes … On different personality profiles, like I’m an Enneagram 7. I’m an ID on the disc profile. I’m an INFP/J, and so part of my natural tendencies are to create and to avoid discomfort. I like feeling good. Hey, by the way, I’ve totally updated my Feel Good Guide. You’re going to want to opt in for that. I’ll tell you more about it at the end. I added a section on how to feel bad.

Okay, back to the story. These are my natural ways of creating, and they’ve always served me. I love creating. I love taking ideas. I am kind of a renaissance person, who, I can’t imagine having worked at IBM for 30 years and getting a watch. I get bored really easily, and I have to create, and of course, I don’t like discomfort.

The way this has shown up in my business recently is with my live event, Camp Star Heart. Camp Star Heart was at the end of April, the beginning of May. It’s something, this is the fourth year I’ve done it. I only do one major, live event like this, and this … I love being in the room at the event, and the first two years, so I’ve recognized my cycle, the first year when I’m creating something, everything is new and it’s challenging. That challenge really drives me. Then the second year I do it, the challenge is over and by the time I get to the third year, I’m literally irritated and bored, and frustrated, and dare I even dramatically say, “I am miserable,” in the creation aspect of it. It’s not new. It’s like cooking the same damn dinner over and over again. Even though I know the outcome is going to be amazing, I would lose touch of the fact that … I would forget how good things are in the room, how good things are for my clients, and how much I actually really did enjoy the event…because I didn’t enjoy the other aspects of it once I’d already gone through the challenge of creating it.

As I’m beginning to think, and as you’ve heard on previous podcasts, thinking what does Allison and Camp Star Heart next year? If I were to do it again next year, what would I do? Well before I could even get to that thought, I actually was like, “This is miserable. All the selling and the enrolling, the dealing with the hotel, all the logistics make me miserable,” and so I had declared that this was the last year I was going to do Camp Star Heart. I was done. Why? Because I don’t, I kind of follow the, follow your feel good in business, and I always want to create things that feel energetically full to me. I don’t want to create from a place of misery, and so I made up this story that was because it wasn’t fun for me anymore, I didn’t need to do it. I was very absolute about it.

Little did I know and realize that was a form of resistance that has shown up over and over, and over for me. It wasn’t a sign that I was complete. It was actually a sign that I needed to get more curious. One of the things I want to put a flag in for you is when your signs of res...