Six months sober. Ten years with marijuana. And one of the hardest years of my life.

In this episode, Aya shares why she chose to break up with MJ after a decade not from shame, fear, or moral superiority, but from a deep desire to meet herself fully sober.

She opens up about living in the Dominican Republic during one of the most emotionally challenging seasons of her life navigating social anxiety, depression, isolation, projection, and being misunderstood in ways that forced her to confront old wounds and attachment patterns. What once felt like regulation slowly revealed itself as avoidance.

This episode explores what happens when you stop using marijuana to cope, numb, or regulate in social environments and what it means to hold yourself through discomfort instead of escaping it. Aya speaks candidly about being labeled “too much,” “too flirty,” and misunderstood, and how sobriety helped her reclaim her self-trust, boundaries, and identity.

She reflects on:

• six months of sobriety after 10 years of use

• using marijuana to cope with social anxiety and trauma

• living in a toxic or misaligned environment

• how insecurity in others can distort narratives about you

• why discomfort is often the doorway to leveling up

• learning emotional regulation without substances

• discipline as self-love

• and what it means to potentially integrate marijuana intentionally in the future but only from clarity, not dependence

This is not an anti-weed conversation.
It’s a conversation about sovereignty.

About realizing that you are capable of more than you’ve ever allowed yourself to experience and choosing to meet yourself without numbing, without shrinking, and without outsourcing your nervous system.

If you’ve ever wondered who you are without your coping mechanisms - this episode is for you.