Sigh. We're back with yet another episode that makes me feel wildly uncomfortable ... which, of course, means it's the exact topic we need to be talking about. Last time, that topic was embracing the seasons of our lives and learning how to celebrate them. This time, the topic that has me squirming in the hot seat is one that I think many of us feel looming in the shadows of our lives ... imposter syndrome. 

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Imposter syndrome is a phenomenon that was identified by two female clinical psychologists, Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance, back in 1978, and it's defined as:

"... the condition of feeling anxious or not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like 'a fraud' or 'a phony' and doubting their abilities."

Yikes. By a show of hands, how many of you have ever felt that way in your lives? I know I have ... on many, many occasions. But guess what? Apparently, so did Neil Armstrong! Here's an incredible story from critically acclaimed author Neil Gaiman about his meeting with the first man on the moon:

Wild, right? Clearly, if imposter syndrome is something even the first man on the moon has struggled with, this is something we need to be talking about. Which is exactly what George and I do this week. 

In this episode, George and I discuss imposter syndrome and its impact — and that includes sharing our own personal experiences falling into the imposter syndrome trap. In addition to exploring the root causes and aggravating factors of imposter syndrome, we also talk about the fact that "imposter syndrome" can sometimes mask systemic issues regarding gender inequality and racism. Because sometimes "working on your feelings" isn't really the answer. 

⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?

Later on in our conversation, we emphasize the importance of understanding and overcoming imposter syndrome to unlock authenticity and live a fulfilling life beyond your default. But it's not easy, as we're easily influenced by cultural factors. On top of that, success and recognition can exacerbate feelings of being an imposter. Social media can also both help people feel less alone in their experiences and amplify feelings of imposter syndrome.

Finally, we talk through practical tips and habits for dealing with imposter syndrome include listing your wins, talking about your feelings, changing negative thoughts, and celebrating small victories. Cultivating confidence and kindness for oneself involves treating yourself with kindness, setting achievable goals, practicing mindfulness, and giving back to others. Now, let's get into it.

Topics We Cover

Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, authenticity, growth mindset, overcoming challenges, cultural factors, family pressures, systemic racism, gender inequality, success, recognition, social media, self-reporting, mental health, confidence, kindness, emotional honesty, and toxic positivity.

Takeaways + Highlights

• Imposter syndrome is a condition where individuals feel anxious and doubt their abilities despite external successes or objective assessments of their skills.
• Imposter syndrome is a shared experience and can be pervasive in various aspects of life.
• Understanding and overcoming imposter syndrome is crucial for personal growth and living a fulfilling life.
• High-pressure work environments, social comparison, and the pursuit of perfection can aggravate imposter syndrome.
• Root causes of imposter syndrome include family expectations, academic and professional environments, and personal traits like perfectionism.
• We need to be careful that conversations around this topic can slap an imposter syndrome label on circumstances, systems, and environments that promote inequalities for groups based on their race, gender, sexuality, or other identifiers. Sometimes the answer isn't "work on your feelings of confidence," but rather something needs to change within those spaces to foster genuine equality, diversity, and more.
• Success and recognition can paradoxically increase feelings of being an imposter.
• Social media can both alleviate and amplify feelings of imposter syndrome.
• There is an increase in self-reporting of imposter syndrome, possibly due to a more open conversation about mental health.
• Practical tips for dealing with imposter syndrome include listing your wins, talking about your feelings, changing negative thoughts, and celebrating small victories.
• Cultivating confidence and kindness for oneself involves treating yourself with kindness, setting achievable goals, practicing mindfulness, and giving back to others.

Questions We Discuss

• Why is George specifically so passionate about this topic?
• Why does this conversation matter to our beyond your default journey?
• How have we struggled with imposter syndrome in our lives?
• What do we see as some of the aggravating factors of imposter syndrome or its root causes?
• There’s research showing year over year increases in people reporting they struggle with imposter syndrome. Why is that?
• The two clinical psychologists who coined this phenomenon forcefully state that success does not really “cure” imposter syndrome. What are ways in which we've PERSONALLY experienced or created the alleviation of imposter syndrome for yourself?
• What advice do we have for someone suffering from imposter syndrome, whether we're talking about practical "in the moment" exercises or ways to cultivate confidence and self-compassion in the long run?
• If you could leave our listeners with one challenge as they go into this week to see the brighter, bolder, better side of themselves that you know others see within them with ease?