Barbara Clifford an Cecilia Yeung, from the Hinwood Institute, explore the psychology of avoidance. They talk about what makes delivering bad news feel so awkward, scary, or guilt-inducing. They share with you some real-life examples of news delivered badly and news delivered well.

Cecilia shares the SBEAR modelSBEAR – Situation-Behaviour-Effect-Ask/Set Expectations-Reinforce/Review 

Cecilia referenced a 2013 study by a team of Stanford, Yale and Columbia psychologists on the impact of the different styles of negative/constructive feedback. To their surprise, the researchers discovered that there was one particular type of teacher feedback that improved student effort and performance so much that they deemed it “magical. 

The magic phrase is "I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.”  

 The phrase contains several messages:

1. You belong here.

2. I believe in your abilities.

3. You are part of a group that has high standards. 

The workplace phrase coming from a manager may sound like:  

•  "I am sharing these comments as we set high expectations that we know what you’re capable of. I want to help you achieve those standards." 
•  "I wish to share this feedback as my goal is to support your growth. I see great potential in you and let’s work together to reach these goals." 
•  "I’m sharing these comments because I believe in your abilities and know you are able to meet the high standards we set. I’m here to help you succeed." 

Another simple model I like to review a meeting, task or project requires only 3 questions:  

• What worked well? 
• Where did you get stuck? What could have been better?  

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