Carl is talking to Chris Doe about male mental health and why it’s vital to talk.

There is often an expectation that boys and men should ‘toughen up and get on with it’ but this results in depression and anxiety increasing.

Chris shares his personal journey through very challenging times and why he is now rebuilding his life to be the best he can be for his family.

In this in-depth conversation, the message is ultimately about reaching out and understanding it OK to not be Ok because we all stumble at some point on our journey through life.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• As men, we are taught to not talk, to say it’s all ok even if it’s not.
• Stumbling doesn’t make you weaker or worse it just means things have got on top of you and there is nothing wrong with that.
• It’s ok to ask for help and there are others out there who can help them to understand their mental health challenges.
• I didn’t feel worthy of being with my family
• I had lost everything, my career my wife and my kids
• I had to start again, I had to rebuild but I was still really broken.
• The benefit of having been at that low point before was I could feel when I was slipping back towards it again.
• If you can’t function properly then you aren’t in a position to look after anyone else.
• It’s knowing that you are in the situation and assess it for what it is
• Seeking help, rebuilding and coming out the other side is about being able to help your children to not make the same mistakes and being able to provide them with the tools and resources to be able to do whatever they want to do.
• Depression and anxiety are getting worse because boys are taught to harden up and don’t cry but they should share their emotions, its ok to not be ok and seek help if you need it.

 

BEST MOMENTS

It’s as though your mind is drifting towards those negative emotions’

‘It’s vital that men talk and recognise when they are not feeling themselves’

‘If you are suffering there is help out there’

 

VALUABLE RESOURCES

HKA Main landing page www.hastingskickboxing.co.uk/kickstartnow

YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/user/Hastingskickboxing

HKA Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Hastingskickboxing

Adult community link  https://m.facebook.com/groups/274624209886110?ref=share 

[email protected]  - Join Leigha every weekday for a workout for a fiver per month

 

ABOUT THE HOST

Hi, my name is Carl Denne.  

I was born in Hastings in 1980. Married, father of two beautiful daughters, Bethany and Leigha. 

My daughters, the wife, and gym ARE MY LIFE.

IF I’M HONEST, I pretty much failed at school. Heavily dyslexic, I was dismissed for being a “naughty kid” that didn’t want to learn. I was heavily bullied for having shit clothes and ginger afro hair. I didn’t have many friends. 

When I say bullied I don’t mean called a “poo-poo head” and being looked at in a nasty way. I mean thrown downstairs, and hit with chairs and tables. Clothes were stolen whilst in the shower. That kind of bullying…

Oh, how things have changed… 

Martial arts, and specifically Kickboxing, have changed my life, and now I am much happier and change other people’s lives for the better on a daily basis. 

I am a complete adrenaline freak, so In my spare time, track days, jumping out of planes, sitting on top of them, rage buggies in the desert… The higher, the faster the better for me. I’m always looking for the next thing to get my blood pumping, so if anyone has a challenge I’ve not found yet, please feel free to share. 

I do like a Saturday night movie night, Chinese, Netflix, lots of chocolate with my three little ladies. I love being around my friends and family. This is why I love the crazy HKA family so much, as this is my extended family.   

I left school with pretty much nothing! A few sad GCSE’s C - D grade, BUT I did have a shit-ton of energy and passion to achieve, and to prove all the teachers and people that looked down on me for all those years, wrong. So, after a few jobs here and there, I settled on working for Openreach (BT) as a cabler/jointer copper and fibre optic multi-skilled engineer with HGV.

I left this in 2015 to chase my dream of running my own Kickboxing Academy and working with the future of today, rather than a job that just paid the bills. 

I’ve trained pretty much my whole life: Karate, boxing, Judo, from the age of 9, and of course, I’ve now done over 29 years of Kickboxing. I’ve passed many Instructors and coaches courses, attended many training courses and seminars, grading up through the syllabus. I passed my 4-hour hell-on-earth 3rd Dan black belt in July 2018 with the ICO.

If I’m honest my real passion and skills have come from learning the hard way; through being in the trenches. I know how it feels to be on your arse. I know how it feels to have to pull yourself out of the pit. I’ve been through a divorce. I’ve lived through the pain and have worked with thousands of members, students, children, teachers and adults over the years, and the one thing I get told every time is how well I/we keep it very real, and that I have a complete understanding on most eventualities. 

Thank you for reading and listening. I hope you connect with myself and the team, take away some ideas, understand you’re not alone, and that it’s good to talk, listen and help others as and when you can.