Stop Trying to Make Them Feel Better

When your child is overwhelmed, your instincts probably tell you to fix it, explain it, or shut it down. But what if those responses are actually making things worse?

In this episode of The Gentle Year, clinical psychologist Dr. David S. Marcus joins Knikki Hernandez to explore why logic fails during emotional overload, what children (and teens) really need when emotions run high, and how being a soothing presence—instead of a problem-solver—creates safety, trust, and long-term resilience.

You’ll hear powerful real-life stories, including why silence can be more effective than words, why “use your words” often backfires, and how kids learn emotional regulation not through lectures, but through being truly heard.

This conversation challenges common parenting advice and offers a deeper, more human way to respond to big emotions—without losing boundaries or authority.

Key themes include:

• Why reasoning doesn’t work during meltdowns
• The difference between calming behavior and calming emotions
• What it means to “empty out” emotional intensity
• How parents unintentionally shut down communication
• Why access, not control, builds influence

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but your child still isn’t hearing you, this episode will change how you see emotional communication—starting today.

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