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Why ‘Love Yourself’ Advice Is Confusing (And How Both Sides Are Right)
You’re not broken. Your “bad” behaviors aren’t proof that something is fundamentally wrong with you - they’re evidence that you learned to survive.
If you’ve ever felt confused by conflicting self-help advice (“love yourself as you are” vs. “work on yourself and change”), this episode is for you.
In this episode, I break down the self-love paradox: how you can be perfect at your core AND need to change your patterns at the same time. I explain the neuroscience behind why shame keeps you stuck, why compassion is the key to lasting change, and how to finally heal the behaviors you’ve been carrying since childhood.
🔑 KEY TOPICS COVERED:
• Why your “bad” behaviors are actually survival mechanisms
• The difference between your essence (perfect, unchangeable) and your conditioned self (learned patterns that need healing)
• How childhood experiences (ages 0-7) created automatic neural pathways that still run your life today
• Why shame activates your threat response and prevents change
• How self-compassion creates nervous system safety and allows real transformation
• Practical steps to separate your identity from your behaviors
• How to practice compassionate accountability
Whether you struggle with addiction, anger, people-pleasing, self-harm, or pushing people away - this episode will help you understand WHY these patterns exist and HOW to heal them with compassion instead of shame.
Ready to take this deeper? Sign up for my free substack community- where I bring ancient wisdom together with psychology and neuroscience, along with personal stories ⬇️
👉https://substack.com/@rememberingyourmagic?r=6k8eb2&utm_medium=ios
I’ve also got a free mindset shift guide that will help get you out of victim mode and back to creator consciousness ⬇️
👉https://stan.store/brendacarl198/p/get-the-powerful-mindset-shift-guide-now-
CONNECT WITH ME:
👉Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brenda.l.carl?igsh=Z2JsNWE2dGpjeWFt&utm_source=qr
👉TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brenda.l.carl?_t=ZP-904C4yxwNDz&_r=1
#SelfLove #InnerChildHealing #Neuroscience #Trauma #CompassionateSelfWork #Healing #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #SelfCompassion #PersonalGrowth #InnerWork #HealingJourney #Therapy #Psychology #SpiritualGrowth
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By BrendaYou’re not broken. Your “bad” behaviors aren’t proof that something is fundamentally wrong with you - they’re evidence that you learned to survive.
If you’ve ever felt confused by conflicting self-help advice (“love yourself as you are” vs. “work on yourself and change”), this episode is for you.
In this episode, I break down the self-love paradox: how you can be perfect at your core AND need to change your patterns at the same time. I explain the neuroscience behind why shame keeps you stuck, why compassion is the key to lasting change, and how to finally heal the behaviors you’ve been carrying since childhood.
🔑 KEY TOPICS COVERED:
• Why your “bad” behaviors are actually survival mechanisms
• The difference between your essence (perfect, unchangeable) and your conditioned self (learned patterns that need healing)
• How childhood experiences (ages 0-7) created automatic neural pathways that still run your life today
• Why shame activates your threat response and prevents change
• How self-compassion creates nervous system safety and allows real transformation
• Practical steps to separate your identity from your behaviors
• How to practice compassionate accountability
Whether you struggle with addiction, anger, people-pleasing, self-harm, or pushing people away - this episode will help you understand WHY these patterns exist and HOW to heal them with compassion instead of shame.
Ready to take this deeper? Sign up for my free substack community- where I bring ancient wisdom together with psychology and neuroscience, along with personal stories ⬇️
👉https://substack.com/@rememberingyourmagic?r=6k8eb2&utm_medium=ios
I’ve also got a free mindset shift guide that will help get you out of victim mode and back to creator consciousness ⬇️
👉https://stan.store/brendacarl198/p/get-the-powerful-mindset-shift-guide-now-
CONNECT WITH ME:
👉Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brenda.l.carl?igsh=Z2JsNWE2dGpjeWFt&utm_source=qr
👉TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brenda.l.carl?_t=ZP-904C4yxwNDz&_r=1
#SelfLove #InnerChildHealing #Neuroscience #Trauma #CompassionateSelfWork #Healing #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #SelfCompassion #PersonalGrowth #InnerWork #HealingJourney #Therapy #Psychology #SpiritualGrowth