June 15, 2010

Why Some Games Do Not Suck, and Others Do

14 minutes

Prior to launching our website and podcast, Mr. Crusty and Nelson spent 14 years doing intensive market research into the gaming market using focus groups under actual real world conditions. We followed this up with an exhaustive review of the academic journals on leisure time, game theory, the part of the brain that processes strategic decisions and ethical studies of on line gaming.

Actually no. We didn’t do a damn thing except decide it would be fun to start this project. We were drinking. The amazing thing is that the project survived to sobriety. Also, we wanted to have an excuse to tell our wives that we had to play video games.

Here are our real criteria followed up by an explanation of each:

The best game for geezers to play, of all time, is Battlfield 2142. All other games are either better or worse than the best game ever published in the whole universe. So far we have not found the better game, but when we do, we will let you know. At which point in time, all games will be better or worse than that game.

Games that do not suck have the following characteristics, much like BF 2142:

Excellent on line gaming experience.

Success in gameplay is earned through teamwork and smarts.

A complementary single player experience.

Usually involves shooting or hurting someone.

Can be played over and over instead of played once then never again.

Can be played by someone who has a life with a modicum of effort.

What this means:

Numbers or stars such as 9.5 out of 10 or 4 stars tell you a lot, but game ratings using these mechanics are not always useful. One person’s 9 out of 10 is usually different than ours. Therefore, we have created this relational rating system. You will know whether this game sucks, or does not suck at the end of our reviews. We recommend you play all the games that do not suck, and do not play the ones that do.

In addition to the information on suckiness, you can tell how much we like this game by how far away from BF 2142 it is in our list. We like the games closer to the top of the list than the ones on the bottom.

Excellent on line gaming experience: Usually denoted by the ability to communicate, different maps to play, different game modes to play, and a reward system where the rewards are hard to earn and meaningful when you receive them.

Success in game play is earned through teamwork and smarts. You should be able to be successful in the game if you are smart and you play smart versus being able to push the buttons on your keyboard or joystick faster than anyone else. Teamwork must be possible through speaking over your headset. Patience and selflessness should be rewarded more than selfishness and bravado.

A complementary single player experience. This means the on line gaming experience should be no different than the play in the single player mode. The only difference should be that you play other human beings while on line, and the computer when you are off line.

Usually involves shooting or hurting someone. Well, we do not play video games to find out what it is like to do the dishes. We want an entry into a fantasy or fictional world where there are no consequences.

Can be played over and over. Mr. Crusty and Nelson do not have time to buy a new video game each month. Nor do we want to play games that you get tired of every month. Listen to our podcast for more on this.

Can be played by someone with a life and with a modicum of effort. Mr. Crusty and Nelson have lives, wives, careers, and are overeducated. We therefore have more to do in our day than play games. Gaming is not how we define ourselves. In fact, we are closet gamers. We do not own any apparel that has any reference to a game, a game publisher or a cute saying drawn from gaming pop culture. We want to play games that you can pick up and play for a few hours, put it down, and then play it again in a week without forgetting how to play it, any special tricks, or any hyper technical knowledge. At the same time, our leisure time is extremely limited so we do not want to waste our time with bad games, or yours, so we look only for games that do not suck.

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