You've done couples therapy — maybe for a year, maybe longer, maybe with more than one therapist — and you understand your relationship better than ever. So why are you back in the same argument, the same silence, the same distance 48 hours after every session? If that's you, you're not broken and your therapist isn't bad. The problem is that couples therapy works at the level of insight and communication, while the pattern you're actually stuck in lives in the deeper patterns inside of you — which is exactly why it fails so many high achievers.

In this episode, I break down why understanding your patterns never changes them, why high performers in particular don't get results from talk-based couples therapy, and what it actually takes to shift a relationship at the deeper level — often within 90 days, even after years of feeling stuck.

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About the Host Katarina Polonska is an Executive Relationship Strategist and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and relationships.

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