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Why We Blame — and How to Break the Cycle for Deeper Connection
Blame feels powerful in the moment.
It gives us a sense of control, a sense of righteousness — but it also creates the very disconnection we’re trying to avoid.
In this episode, we’re taking a brutally honest and compassionate look at blame:
why we do it, how it protects us, and how it slowly erodes trust, intimacy, and emotional safety in relationships.
If you ever find yourself thinking:
- “Why am I always the one who cares more?”
- “If they just listened, we wouldn’t be here.”
- “I’m doing everything — and it’s still not enough.”
...this episode is for you.
Inside, you’ll learn:
- The real reason blame shows up so fast (hint: it’s not a character flaw)
- Why blame feels good short-term but damages long-term connection
- The difference between blaming and sharing your hurt vulnerably
- What the full blame cycle actually looks and sounds like in real life
- A 6-step process to shift from blaming to building connection — even when you're totally overwhelmed
This isn’t surface-level communication advice.
It’s about rebuilding the foundation your relationship rests on — one vulnerable moment at a time.
If you're ready to drop the blame, speak from your heart, and start feeling seen again, hit play.
Resources
- Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.
- Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.
- The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.
- Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or medical provider.
View all episodes
By Dr. Rachel OrleckBlame feels powerful in the moment.
It gives us a sense of control, a sense of righteousness — but it also creates the very disconnection we’re trying to avoid.
In this episode, we’re taking a brutally honest and compassionate look at blame:
why we do it, how it protects us, and how it slowly erodes trust, intimacy, and emotional safety in relationships.
If you ever find yourself thinking:
- “Why am I always the one who cares more?”
- “If they just listened, we wouldn’t be here.”
- “I’m doing everything — and it’s still not enough.”
...this episode is for you.
Inside, you’ll learn:
- The real reason blame shows up so fast (hint: it’s not a character flaw)
- Why blame feels good short-term but damages long-term connection
- The difference between blaming and sharing your hurt vulnerably
- What the full blame cycle actually looks and sounds like in real life
- A 6-step process to shift from blaming to building connection — even when you're totally overwhelmed
This isn’t surface-level communication advice.
It’s about rebuilding the foundation your relationship rests on — one vulnerable moment at a time.
If you're ready to drop the blame, speak from your heart, and start feeling seen again, hit play.
Resources
- Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.
- Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.
- The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.
- Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or medical provider.