Tony dives into the research of why we need connection with others from Sue Johnson's book "Hold Me Tight." And he then shares his Rules Of Constructive Kommunication (ROCK). These 6 rules are designed to help couples move past unproductive conversations around “hot topics” that typically lead to frustration, fighting, and turning away from each other. If you often find yourself avoiding certain topics or situations with your partner, like finances, intimacy, and parenting, because the conversations never go well, you need to follow Tony’s ROCK. These rules will help you cultivate an attitude of empathy for your partner and lead to the world of productive communication.

With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

--------------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT-----------------------------------------

[00:00:00] So today I want to talk about attachment, why we need attachment to other people. And I'm going to be quoting the book Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson. Hold Me Tight seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love and let me take you back to the seventeen hundreds of all places to start. Clues to Love's true purpose, according to Sue Johnson, have been circulating for a long time and we're talking back in seventeen sixty. There was a Spanish bishop writing to his superiors in Rome, and he noted that children in what he called foundling homes, though they were sheltered and they were fed that they regularly died from sadness. So fast forward to the nineteen thirties and the nineteen forties in the halls of American hospitals. Orphaned children deprived only of touch in emotional contact were dying in droves. Psychiatrists also began identifying children who were physically healthy but who seemed indifferent or calloused or unable to relate to others. And David Levy, reporting his observations in a nineteen thirty seven article in the American Journal of Psychiatry, attributed such youngsters behavior to what he called emotional starvation. Now, nineteen Forties American analyst Rene Spitz coined the term failure to thrive for children separated from their parents and caught in this debilitating grief. And Sue Johnson goes on to talk about that.

[00:01:15] It remained there for John Bowlby, and he was a British psychiatrist and it was his job. Then he felt like to figure out exactly what was going on. And she says, Let me be honest, as a psychologist and a human being, she said, if I had to give an award for the single best set of ideas anybody ever had. Sue Johnson says she would give it to John Bowlby, hands down over Freud or anybody else in the business of understanding people because she said he grabbed the threads of observations and reports and wove them into this coherent and masterful theory of attachment. So today we're going to get into a little bit of what that theory of attachment is. We're going to touch a little bit on the history. We're going to go a little bit more into Bowlb...