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Why We Need To Stop Viewing Our Parents As Either Good Or Evil
Parents are not good or evil, heroes or villains. Seeing them as humans let us practice empathy and compassion for others and ourselves.
“Respect your parents! They did so much for you.”
As the author of the book “How To Deal With Asian Parents”, it’s obvious I’ve struggled with the relationship I have with my parents.
With that, folks often send me comments and advice about how I should respect my parents, asking me how I would feel if they died, assuming that I wrote the book as a way to complain and vent about how horrible they are.
Some have even gone as far as asking me,
“How do you feel when your children see this? You know, what goes around, comes around? Taste of your own medicine…”
“Your parents should be embarrassed and ashamed of you.”
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t
On the flip side, I’ve also received a few comments about how my book is a lost cause, that it’s impossible to deal with Asian parents and that my efforts are futile. Comments like these have ranged from,
“I don’t want to deal with them. They’re horrible people. They’ll never change.”
“What’s the point of this book? I’ve given up on them and you should too!”
“Stop opening old wounds that won’t heal. You’ve wasted your time.”
Solutions, not problems
I’m a person who values walking the talk so as the book title infers, it’s about how to deal with an issue, not about how to define it.
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By Katharine ChanParents are not good or evil, heroes or villains. Seeing them as humans let us practice empathy and compassion for others and ourselves.
“Respect your parents! They did so much for you.”
As the author of the book “How To Deal With Asian Parents”, it’s obvious I’ve struggled with the relationship I have with my parents.
With that, folks often send me comments and advice about how I should respect my parents, asking me how I would feel if they died, assuming that I wrote the book as a way to complain and vent about how horrible they are.
Some have even gone as far as asking me,
“How do you feel when your children see this? You know, what goes around, comes around? Taste of your own medicine…”
“Your parents should be embarrassed and ashamed of you.”
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t
On the flip side, I’ve also received a few comments about how my book is a lost cause, that it’s impossible to deal with Asian parents and that my efforts are futile. Comments like these have ranged from,
“I don’t want to deal with them. They’re horrible people. They’ll never change.”
“What’s the point of this book? I’ve given up on them and you should too!”
“Stop opening old wounds that won’t heal. You’ve wasted your time.”
Solutions, not problems
I’m a person who values walking the talk so as the book title infers, it’s about how to deal with an issue, not about how to define it.