Modern intimacy is changing fast. As committed polyamory moves from whisper networks into more visible cultural conversation, the question of structure matters. Who coordinates schedules, mediates conflict, holds boundaries, and keeps the household culture intact? This article argues that centering women in leadership roles within committed polyamorous constellations can produce clearer consent, stronger safety, and better emotional management, and it contrasts that ethical model with a grotesque sci‑fi image used as a moral foil: the horror of people reduced to commodities in alien‑farm narratives.