Message Nicky

Two people can sit through the same meeting and walk out with completely different realities. One feels clarity and momentum. The other feels attacked, dismissed, or steamrolled. That gap is where so much workplace conflict, team dysfunction, and leadership frustration begin, and it is why smart, well-meaning people can end up stuck in the same fight for months. 

I draw on decades in HR to unpack a hard truth: most conflict at work is not good versus bad, it is two “heroes” colliding. We do not react to events, we react to our interpretations of events, then we get emotionally attached to those interpretations. That is why feedback can feel like danger, why misunderstandings feel like betrayal, and why email and chat can damage relationships faster than anyone expects. When the surface argument is about a deadline, a project decision, or communication style, the real argument underneath is often about respect, trust, control, recognition, or security. 

The turning point is learning to trade certainty for curiosity. When we decide we know someone’s intention, we stop listening and start building a case. I share the simplest tool I know for conflict resolution and healthier communication at work: “What else could be true?” Use it to open space, lower defenses, and find the missing context that makes collaboration possible. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a coworker, and leave a review so more people can find the show.